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Some people think that public health is a the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In modern countries, some people think that government responsible for public health and others think that people responsible for their own health the aim of this essay is to discuss different ideas along with my personal point of view. On the one hand, some people who support government should responsible for humans health, that it has some positive consequences. In other words when viruses like (covid-19) come to countries in this case government responsible for population health because people unable to protect themselves from viruses. In additionally government should create a lot of comfortable and good condition hospitals for humans. for example when rise number of illness and hospitals not well and not enough places for disease people in this situation government more responsible then humans. On the other hand there are associated opposing views that humans responsible to their own health. In other words only people can control their selves and only they able to take medicine at the time when they ill because government can not control people life. Government only able to caution about illness and give a medicine when humans located at a hospital if humans do not care their selves and do not protect their selves from viruses, like government suggest in this case government unable to do something Finally, in my opinion government or humans experience, depends on the position being applied for. Take for example government should protect population from viruses or illness and humans should eat or drink normally and take a medicine when government suggest. In conclusion, government should stay in the background of humans and people should live healthy and take a medicine at the time.
In modern countries,
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some
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people
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think
that
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government
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responsible
for public
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health
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and others
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think
that
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people
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responsible
for their
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own
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health
the aim of this essay is to discuss
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different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
along with my personal point of view. On the one hand,
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences. In
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other
words when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viruses
like (
Did you mean “COVID-19” or the alternative spelling “Covid-19” (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to countries
in this case
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government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
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because
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people
unable to protect themselves from
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viruses
. In
additionally
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government
should create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
comfortable and
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good
condition hospitals for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
example when rise number of illness and hospitals not well and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
places for disease
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people
in this situation
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government
more
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responsible
Did you mean “than”?
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand there
are associated
opposing views that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can control their selves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean “they are” or “they were”?
they
able to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
at the time when they ill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can not control
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people
life.
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Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to caution about illness and give a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
located at a hospital if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
do not care their selves and do not protect their selves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viruses
, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
suggest
in this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
unable to do something
Finally
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
experience, depends on the position
being applied
for. Take
for example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should protect population from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viruses
or illness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should eat or drink
normally
and take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
suggest.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should stay in the background of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthy and take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
at the time.

IELTS essay Some people think that public health is a the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
276 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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