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Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. g0N7
It is true that achievement in sports are the result of hard work, talent and strong commitment. However, some people say that physical fitness is the key role to archive the target in sports. Whereas others claims that mental strength is more important than physical activities. Both views are discussed in upcoming paragraphs. Firstly, some people claim that physical fitness in the main part in sports as most of athletes spend time on developing physical strength, and are rarely seen focusing on mental fitness. By practicing, they increase their stamina which is most important part of sports, if they do not have stamina then it is difficult to win the race, for instance: Rugby is a game which if fully based on physical activity and only those have good stamina are successful in the game, who spent their time in building physical strength by going to gym. But if a person spent his time on mental health instead of focusing on physical fitness then there is high chance of getting loose in the game. On the other side, some people believe in mental fitness, as no can get successes in sports unless a person is not mentally prepared for the completion. There are many games that are based on the mental ability. If a person is mentally fit then he can focus on his strength and ability, by practicing will get able to win the race. There are some sports event such as chess, where a person needs to be mentally fit. In my opinion, it can not be said that which is more important physical or mental strength, as the combination of both can make a person to archive the target. Physical strength makes a person strong and mental allows a person to take good decision in critical situation.
It is true that achievement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the result of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, talent and strong commitment.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
is the key role to archive the target in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
others claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities. Both views
are discussed
in upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
in the main part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the athletes") or simply say "most athletes".
most of athletes
spend time on developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
, and are rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
. By practicing, they increase their stamina which is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, if they do not have stamina then it is difficult to win the race,
for instance
: Rugby is a game which
Did you mean "is"?
if
fully
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stamina are successful in the game, who spent their time in building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
by going to gym.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if a
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person
spent his time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health
instead
of focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
then there is high chance of getting loose in the game.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
, as no can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
successes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
unless a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is not mentally prepared for the completion. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
games that
are based
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
ability. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is mentally fit then he can focus on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
and ability, by practicing will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
able to win the race. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
such as chess, where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
needs to be mentally fit.

In my opinion, it can not
be said
that which is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
, as the combination of both can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to archive the target.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
strong and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision in critical situation.
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IELTS essay Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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