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Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach their children not to hit back at bullies.

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach their children not to hit back at bullies. dbg7
positive education. I strongly agree with these parents and in this essay, I will present this way andIn state my opinion with the relevant examples. First of all, parents should know the actors which influence to their kids's character and the source lead to violent personality. For example, children can watch the action film in the internet or on tv and they may repeat it in fact that is absolutely dangerous. Therefore, parents should supervise their kids on using internet or watching programmers on the tv which have the content are not suitable with kid's age. In addition, parents have to control behavior of children and direct the, forward to become a kind personFurthermore, parents have to prevent the kids from hitting back the bullies because it is a negative activities. In other words, they should explain to the kids that they can inform to adults such as parents, teachers and others who can help them instead of solving bullied problems by violence. Moreover, adults should spend more time on taking care of their kids and pay more attention on their children. In conclusion, parents should consider seriously about the problem that instruct their children not to hit back in the cases. In my mind, family is the most close with kids that may help for non-violence in the future
positive
education. I
strongly
agree
with these
parents
and in this essay, I will present this way
andIn
state my opinion with the relevant examples.

First of all
,
parents
should know the actors which influence to their
kids's
character and the source lead to violent personality.
For example
, children can
watch
the action film
in the internet
or on
tv and
they may repeat it in fact
that is
absolutely
dangerous
.
Therefore
,
parents
should supervise their
kids
on using internet or watching programmers on the
tv
which have the content are not suitable with kid's age.
In addition
,
parents
have to
control behavior of children and direct
the,
forward to become a kind
personFurthermore
,
parents
have to
prevent
the
kids
from hitting back the bullies
because
it is a
negative
activities
.
In other words
, they should
explain
to the
kids
that they can inform to adults such as
parents
, teachers
and others
who can
help
them
instead
of solving bullied problems by violence.
Moreover
, adults should spend more time on taking care of their
kids
and pay more attention on their children.

In conclusion
,
parents
should consider
seriously
about the problem that instruct their children not to hit back in the cases. In my mind, family is
the most close
with
kids
that may
help
for non-violence in the
future
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IELTS essay Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach their children not to hit back at bullies.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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