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“Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

“Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. roX2
The idea that, whether academic institutes should award prizes for students on the basis on their top-excellent scholastic achievements or improvements, remains a source of controversy. While some individuals say that schools are better off rewarding high score-attaining students, I would argue that it would be preferable to give prizes to ones who make progress throughout intellectual/educational attainment. On the one hand, there are a number of negative consequences if schools reward learners who obtain the best academic performance. Firstly, ideology about scoring marks as high as possible can oblige learners to aggressively compete against each other due to scores in lieu of the knowledge. For instance, in a subjective circumstance, my peers at university excessively adhere to their study with the purpose of obtaining good marks without any scrutiny about what knowledge they should acquire. Secondly, the most excellent students are likely to receive the majority of the attention and priorities from their teachers. On account of the common tendency to focus on the most outstanding pupils of teachers, potentials of ordinary students are often ignored leading to inequality of opportunity in education. On the other hand, I strongly believe that schools bshould award a prize for learners who attempt to improve every day. The first benefit is that it will motivate them to do a more hard-working job to make a plenty of progress in their study. Therefore, it is likely to give an equivalent chance for all students from the poor-performed group to well-performed ones to express their own intellectual ability. Another merit is that the burdensome pressure on learners will be reduced significantly, which can make a major contribution to eliminating negative aspects in examinations. Now that score does not keep holding a crucial part as a decisive factor identifying their ability and non-stop efforts. In conclusion, it seems to me that it is better to reward students making progress profoundly because of some outstanding points although other people insist on the most excellent students more deserve.
The
idea
that, whether academic institutes should award prizes for
students
on the basis on their top-excellent scholastic achievements or improvements, remains a source of controversy. While
some
individuals say that schools are better off rewarding high score-attaining
students
, I would argue that it would be preferable to give prizes to
ones
who
make
progress throughout intellectual/educational attainment.

On the one hand, there are a number of
negative
consequences if schools reward
learners
who obtain the best academic performance.
Firstly
, ideology about scoring marks as high as possible can oblige
learners
to
aggressively
compete against each other due to scores in lieu of the knowledge.
For instance
, in a subjective circumstance, my peers at university
excessively
adhere to their study with the purpose of obtaining
good
marks without any scrutiny about what knowledge they should acquire.
Secondly
, the most excellent
students
are likely to receive the majority of the attention and priorities from their teachers. On account of the common tendency to focus on the most outstanding pupils of teachers, potentials of ordinary
students
are
often
ignored
leading to inequality of opportunity in education.

On the other hand
, I
strongly
believe that schools
bshould
award a prize for
learners
who attempt to
improve
every day. The
first
benefit is that it will motivate them to do a more
hard
-working job to
make
a
plenty
of progress in their study.
Therefore
, it is likely to give an equivalent chance for all
students
from the poor-performed group to well-performed
ones
to express their
own
intellectual ability. Another merit is that the burdensome pressure on
learners
will be
reduced
significantly
, which can
make
a major contribution to eliminating
negative
aspects in examinations.
Now
that score does not
keep
holding a crucial part as a decisive factor identifying their ability and non-
stop
efforts.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that it is better to reward
students
making progress
profoundly
because
of
some
outstanding points although other
people
insist on the most excellent
students
more deserve.
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IELTS essay “Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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