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Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success other argue that happiness dependent on different factors. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success other argue that happiness dependent on different factors. Discuss both view and give your opinion mk8d
In in this contemporary era, it has become debatable issue whether happiness in life fully rely on money or other aspectssp. so, this essay will shed light both sides due to some specific reasons which will be elaborated in my impending textual. on the one hand side inverted, there are myriad reasons why money play vital role in happiness. first and foremost important point is that nowadays all individuals want to live in comfortable life as well as they have plathro of demand in their life, which can be fulfilled after being rich. So that, money is a powerful weapon, which used for meeting the needs of individuals. As a result people feel happy in their life. On the other hand side, though money has contribute to give happiness to some extent, other factors are more important for getting happiness in life. First of all, individuals feel more happy after having good relationship among family. Since, they share their feelings with their family members as well as they can easily find solution of any problem if they live in family. Therefore, this factor very helpful for giving happy life to individuals. Turning to next, happiness also related to good health of individual's, because if people never suffer from health hazards then they can live happy in their life. so that, healthy people can get everything in their life which gives them happiness. Consequently, happiness more dependent on other factors as compared to money. To sum up, all the money is very helpful for fulfilling basic necessities of life, other factor are more effective forgetting happiness in life, that is why people should not be neglected at any cost.
Possible typo: you repeated a word
In in
this contemporary era, it has become debatable issue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
fully
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
aspectssp
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, this essay will shed light both sides due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific reasons which will
be elaborated
in my impending textual.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the one hand side inverted, there are myriad reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
play vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
and foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is that nowadays all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as they have
Possible spelling mistake found.
plathro
of demand in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which can
be fulfilled
after being rich.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a powerful weapon, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for meeting the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand side, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has
Use past participle here: "contributed".
contribute
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
feel more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
after having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship among family. Since, they share their feelings with their family members
as well
as they can
easily
find solution of any problem if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in family.
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. Turning to
next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
also
related to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health of individual's,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never suffer from health hazards then they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
that, healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which gives them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
more dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. To sum up, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for fulfilling
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
are more effective forgetting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
be neglected
at any cost.
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IELTS essay Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success other argue that happiness dependent on different factors. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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