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Some people think that people should choose thier job based on income in order to provide security for thier family.

Some people think that people should choose thier job based on income in order to provide security for thier family. 6NON8
There are certain amount of people who choose income for the security of thier family. Money is a very crucial ingredient while choosing a place to work. Earning a decent amoumt of money is important for one's satisfaction. There are many other important factors for choosing a job. As of nowadays due to the increase in living standards it has been difficult for people to work with a decent amout of salary. People usually look out for jobs that pay above average. With the decent income, everyday expenses such as food, transport, rent, etc one would find it difficult to survive. A persons salary determines the status in the society. A person's success depends on his salary. Many students take loan for thier education and then start paying it off as soon as they get jobs. There are other factors which are important in choosing a job. People usually before signing the contract ask for the job security. It is the most important factor. Nowadays companies usually go down in market in such conditions people should not lose thier jobs on a single notice. Another important factor is the environment of the workplace. A person should feel happy and comfortable in thier workplace. Another factor is about the future promotions of the job. A promotion satisfies a person and makes the person more hard working. In conclusion, while money matters the most other aspects also matter equally in choosing a job.
There are certain
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "amounts"?
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who choose income for the security of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
family. Money is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial ingredient

while choosing a place to work. Earning a decent
Possible spelling mistake found.
amoumt
of money is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for one's satisfaction. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
for choosing a job.

As of nowadays due to the increase in living standards it has been difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work with a decent
Possible spelling mistake found.
amout
of salary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
usually
look out for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
jobs


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
pay above average. With the decent income, everyday expenses such as food, transport, rent, etc one would find it difficult to survive. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
salary


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
determines
the status in the society. A person's success depends on his salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
students take loan for
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
education and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
paying it off as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
as


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs.

There are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
signing the contract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security. It is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor.

Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
usually
go down in market in such conditions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not lose
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
on a single notice. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is the environment of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
workplace
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should feel happy and comfortable in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
workplace. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is about the future promotions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. A promotion satisfies a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
makes


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
more
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
.

In conclusion
, while money matters the most other aspects
also
matter
equally
in choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that people should choose thier job based on income in order to provide security for thier family.

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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