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some people think that people over 50 years old should be retired or replaced.

some people think that people over 50 years old should be retired or replaced. Apo81
Nowadays, some people think that who are over 50 years of age should retire and be replaced. Frankly speaking I don't agree with this statement. In my view, retirement should be for the people of over 65 or even 70. Today either old or young people want to have a job and earn money. Young people should learn a lot of things from elderly people. Because, elderly people worked for many years in their spheres and they are more experienced than young people. People who are over 50 years of age passed through barriers and overcame difficulties in their life. Young generation should also learn how to break the ice and be more responsible with their work. They can work with people who over 50 years old as those people have professional skills which can be very useful, as they know how to manage time and improve social skills. On the other hand, young people are healthier and energetic. They are workaholics and they want to work and provide their family with money and improve their life conditions. Nevertheless, it does not mean that elderly people should be replaced by them. Governments should build more work places and this will be useful for either young or old people. However, in my point of view only those elderly people that have health problems or special cases should retire or be replaced. To sum up everything that has been stated so far, I don't agree that elderly people should be replaced by the young in all cases and I think that the government should provide more work places for all age groups
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
50 years of age should retire and
be replaced
.
Frankly
speaking I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

In my view, retirement should be for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65 or even 70.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
either
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to have a job and earn money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worked for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
spheres and
they are more experienced than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
50 years of age passed through barriers and overcame difficulties in their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
generation should
also
learn how to break the ice and be more responsible with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
as those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful, as they know how to manage time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are healthier and energetic. They are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
workaholics and
they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and provide their family with money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life conditions.
Nevertheless
, it does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be replaced
by them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should build more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places and this will be useful for either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, in my point of view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that have health problems or special cases should retire or
be replaced
.

To sum up everything that has
been stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be replaced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
in all cases and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places for all age groups
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IELTS essay some people think that people over 50 years old should be retired or replaced.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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