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Drug abuse: Problem and solution

Drug abuse: Problem and solution GwgpB
Unfortunately, drug abuse is becoming one of the pervasive problems of present-day society. Nevertheless, we still have chances to stop the spreading of this global threat. In this essay, I am going to look at the number of troubles that caused by addiction and consider solutions to them. Drug abuse is now rife in many countries, thereby resulting to diverse troubles in communities and countries. Of course there is manifest negative effect of drugs to health and psychology of individual. As long as it's considered as a trigger to mentally divergent, it has no chance to be accepted to society resulting to drug addicted  more and more separate from the normal world. Furthermore, drugs  is considered as one of the main provokers of crimes and wars. Because illegal drug sellers in order to make money, go on acrimonious acts. For instance, in countries of central and south Asia there have been going wars  between drugmakers and military for a long time. Despite the fact that it's arduous task to resist the spreading of addiction there are several ways to solve it. Education is the best way to get rid from this issue. It is integral that parents need to provide information to their children about risks of drugs and addictions. But we shouldn't satisfy with way of education only, it is crucial to leverage police manpower against drugs sellers. Because if sellers will maintain  the spreading of drugs, there will be no long term results from educating. In conclusion, although the problem is hard to dispose of, there several essential steps that could us help in getting rid from them. We must undertake in solving this problem, before it is too late.
Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse is becoming one of the pervasive problems of present-day society.
Nevertheless
, we
still
have chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the spreading of this global threat. In this essay, I am going to look at the number of troubles that caused by addiction and consider solutions to them.

Drug abuse is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
rife in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, thereby resulting to diverse troubles in communities and countries.
Of course
there is manifest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
to health and psychology of individual. As long as it's considered as a trigger to mentally divergent, it has no chance to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to society resulting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicted
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
more and more separate from the normal world.
Furthermore
, drugs
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
is considered
as one of the main provokers of crimes and wars.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
sellers in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money, go on acrimonious acts.
For instance
, in countries of central and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
south Asia
there have been going wars
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
between
Possible spelling mistake found.
drugmakers
and military for a long time.

Despite the fact that it's arduous task to resist the spreading of addiction there are several ways to solve it. Education is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
The usual collocation for "rid" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "rid of"?
rid from
this issue. It is integral that parents need to provide information to their children about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and addictions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we shouldn't satisfy with way of education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, it is crucial to leverage police manpower against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
sellers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if sellers will maintain
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the spreading of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, there will be no long term results from educating.

In conclusion
, although the problem is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to dispose of, there several essential steps that could us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in getting
The usual collocation for "rid" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "rid of"?
rid from
them. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
undertake in solving this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is too late.
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IELTS essay Drug abuse: Problem and solution

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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