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Some people think that parents should teach their parents how to be a good members of society......

Some people think that parents should teach their parents how to be a good members of society. . . . . . x0q09
People have different views whether children should be thought how to become a good citizen of community from their father and mother or school. While some individuals argue that parents should teach their kids the ways to be a good member of society, I agree with those who think that children should learn this from their educational institution. To embark on, it is generally considered that parents are the first tutors of a child. In other words, a new born baby tend to follow his mom and dad's every footstep and try to copy them. And thus if parents do something negative like smoking in front of their child, they will be influenced by their activities. Secondly, it is quite natural that children always imitate their parents, so it is a big opportunity for every parent to teach them a plethora of paramount important lessons by doing such positive tasks or by telling various types of valuable stories. For insurance, A friend need a friend indeed, this kind of work helps a child to be a valuable person of a country. On the other hand, there are a few sophisticated reasons why I believe that school is the best place for pupils to acquire a number of characteristics which support them to build themselves as a reliable individual of a nation. Firstly, a student spends his most of the time at school with his mentors and friends compared to home. So it would be better if teachers teach them regarding the roles of a good citizen besides their academic books. However, nowadays, an increase amount of parents remain busy with their important activities in their professional life so that they can not manage as much as time to teach something needy to their sons or daughters. For example, in Japan more than 60% of parents work in outdoor and their children spend their maximum time at educational institution. Thus, I think teachers should provide lessons to learners how to be a better person in a society. In conclusion, it is widely believed that parents have been a great impact on their children life, but in this case school plays a vital role to make a pupil a civilian of a country in my opinion.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
how to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen of community from their father and mother or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their kids the ways to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member of society, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn this from their educational institution.

To embark on, it is
generally
considered that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
tutors of a child.
In other words
, a new born baby tend to follow his mom and dad's every footstep and try to copy them. And
thus
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
like smoking in front of their child, they will
be influenced
by their activities.
Secondly
, it is quite natural that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always imitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
opportunity for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them a plethora of paramount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons by doing such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
tasks or by telling various types of valuable stories. For insurance, A friend need a friend
indeed
, this kind of work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a child to be a valuable person of a country.

On the other hand
, there are a few sophisticated reasons why I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best place for pupils to acquire a number of characteristics which support them to build themselves as a reliable individual of a nation.
Firstly
, a student spends his most of the time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with his mentors and friends compared to home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it would be better if teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them regarding the roles of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen
besides
their academic books.
However
, nowadays, an increase amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
remain busy with their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activities in their professional life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can not manage as much as time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
something needy to their sons or daughters.
For example
, in Japan more than 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
work in outdoor and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend their maximum time at educational institution.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
teachers should provide lessons to learners how to be a better person in a society.

In conclusion
, it is
widely
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have been a great impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
plays a vital role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a pupil a civilian of a country in my opinion.
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach their parents how to be a good members of society. . . . . .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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