Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people think that parents should teach their children to be a good member of society whereas other believe that school should teach them. discuss both sides and give your opinion

some people think that parents should teach their children to be a good member of society whereas other believe that school should teach them. discuss both sides and give your opinion m1RPd
The kids certainly need to have the good habits in order to grow and become a good part of civilization. As per my opinion, this responsibility needed to be shared by the parents and the teachers both. Firstly, lets consider the schools and the education institutes, which helps shape the young minds. Children start going to school at a very early age. Education plays a very critical role to create a healthy mind. For instance, very important lessons such as presentation, socialising or public communication, can only be thought in school. Also self management with doing a daily routine activities can be learned in the academy. Healthy competition in a school event or developing hobby for music can be done at the institute. The child can observe different kind of people present the nearby area. Also activities such as group studies helps them to understand the coordination and team building. Secondly, on the other hand parents share this responsibility of teaching children basic ethics of society. For example, How to talk? What to talk? How to raise your concerns? , All such more personalized mentoring is done by parents. Children at age five and above do have a very developing brain. Brain, which is full of questions and need guidance in order to become a good citizen of society. Finally, It is the other people's responsibility, Who comes in direct contact with a child to educate him or her with moral values and responsibilities. Such as, Take care of environment and animals, keep the surroundings clean. To conclude, we can clearly see that this is a joint effort of both Parents and teachers to teach children to behave better. Although this can not be divided in equal part, but both elements are certainly critical in a child's development.
The kids
certainly
need to have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits in order to grow and become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
part of civilization. As per my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
needed to
be shared
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the teachers both.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and the education institutes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
shape the young minds.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age. Education plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
critical role to create a healthy mind.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons such as presentation,
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
or public communication, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
self management with doing a daily routine activities can
be learned
in the academy. Healthy competition in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
or developing hobby for music can
be done
at the institute. The child can observe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
present the nearby area.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
activities such as group studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to understand the coordination and team building.

Secondly
,
on the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
share this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
basic ethics of society.
For example
, How to talk? What to talk? How to raise your concerns?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
All such more personalized mentoring
is done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
at age five and above do have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
developing brain. Brain, which is full of questions and need guidance in order to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen of society.

Finally
, It is the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
, Who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in direct contact with a child to educate him or her with moral values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
. Such as, Take care of environment and animals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the surroundings clean.

To conclude
, we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that this is a joint effort of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
and teachers to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to behave better. Although this can not
be divided
in equal part,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
both elements are
certainly
critical in a child's development.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay some people think that parents should teach their children to be a good member of society whereas other believe that school should teach them. discuss both sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    task 2 ielts climate change
    Unquestionably, recent times, it is often contended that people must either find a way to escape weather changes or remain in these dreadful conditions. In my opinion, the second option is not favorable, because we have enough time to make the world we live in longevity by doing less damage to the e...
  • 5.5band
    Some people Consider that it is better to gift money to teenager as a present while others disagree.
    It is often seen that people choose to present adolescents with cash rather than gifts in kind, for different reasons. While few contend this is appropriate, others opine that it is harmful for them. First, teenagers have many needs and at their age getting what they really need will be appreciated...
  • 6.5band
    people begin to work from home due to advanced technology. what are advantages and disadvantages
    Most people need to go to their workplace in the last decades. However, nowadays many people start to work from home because of advanced technology such as computers, the internet and mobile phones. In this essay, I will discuss both the positive and negative aspects of this development. First of a...
  • 6band
    INCREASING THE PRICE OF PERTROL IS THE BEST WAY TO SOLVE THE GROWING TRAFFIC AND POLLUTION PROBLEMS.
    In today's modern fast-paced world, there is a significant rise in the number of vehicles which lead to the sharp increase in petrol consumption. Although, some people have opined that by inflating the petrol prices, government can control its consumption and other problems manifested because of its...
  • 6.5band
    online shopping avantages ielts task 2
    Since online shopping is taking the place of in-store shopping the number of shoppers in stores is declining in this contemporary era. From my point of view, the replacement of stores by online markets is a positive development. This essay will discuss how this trend affects the economy of countries...
  • 6.5band
    reasons of climate changes ielts task 2
    Recently, our world is facing a very serious threat of climate change, and the biggest cause of this is human, and some people think that instead of taking measures against this change, they advise to adapt to it. I do not agree completely with this statement and this essay will debate why we must d...





Get more results for topic:
  • some people think that parents should teach their children to be a good member of society whereas other believe that school should teach them. discuss both sides and give your opinion