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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. mj5n
It is believed that parents should educate children how to become a benevolent citizen in community. Nevertheless, others think that this task is the responsibility of schools. In my opinion, both the parents and the teachers have an indispensable role in shaping the character of their children. On the one hand, home is the first school for children children. They watch and learn from their parents as role model. As a matter of fact that, a child would behave and imitate as the same way of his or her parents. Therefore, both fathers and mothers are expected to be equally important exemplars of their own offspring. For instance, according to socialists from Oxford University, countless people who are successful in their life and career said that the way they tought and reacted to surrounded issues the result of parental guidance in their childhood. On the other hand, parents are not the only the only influence on children. Parents have trusted school to teach their children where their children spend most of their time there. School is essential microcosm of the universe. Furthermore, children gain academic knowledge and meet pupils who have different kind of character and family atmosphere. Therefore, young age people are aducated by teachers how to learn academic knowledge and being responsible person in a society. For instance, a recent researchs are shown that people is being tought about respecting older people through Civilization lecture which is instructed in the school. Consequently, when these people meet elderly seniors in their neighborhood, they can behave politely and respect them. In conclusion, I convinced that it is both parents and school's responsibilities in teaching children to be good society members because children begin to learn the foundations of their habits and behaviors from family parents have trusted school to teach their children, where their children would spend most of their time there.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to become a benevolent citizen in community.
Nevertheless
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this task is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. In my opinion, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the teachers have an indispensable role in shaping the character of their children.

On the one hand, home is the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and learn from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as role model. As a matter of fact that, a child would behave and imitate as the same way of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Therefore
, both fathers and mothers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
exemplars of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
offspring.
For instance
, according to socialists from Oxford University, countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are successful in their life and career said that the way they
Possible spelling mistake found.
tought
and reacted to surrounded issues the result of parental guidance in their childhood.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
have trusted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
where their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their time there.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is essential microcosm of the universe.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
gain academic knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
pupils who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of character and family atmosphere.
Therefore
, young age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
aducated
by teachers how to learn academic knowledge and being responsible person in a society.
For instance
, a recent
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "researches", the plural form of the noun 'research'?
researchs
are shown
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
being
Possible spelling mistake found.
tought
about respecting older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through Civilization lecture which
is instructed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Consequently
, when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
elderly seniors in their neighborhood, they can behave
politely
and respect them.

In conclusion
, I convinced that it is both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and school's responsibilities in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
society members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to learn the foundations of their habits and behaviors from family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have trusted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, where their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would spend most of their time there.

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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