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In Many Countries Today, People In Cities Either Live Alone Or In Small Family Units

In Many Countries Today, People In Cities Either Live Alone Or In Small Family Units rODL
The family structure has undergone drastic changes due to urbanization. In many cities now, most families consist of just one or two persons. In my opinion, the shrinking of the family unit is an unwelcome trend. Families are becoming smaller due to a number of reasons and it is a negative trend. The main reason is that when people live in nuclear families they fail to bond with their relatives. And those who live alone suffer from loneliness and depression. For example, many urban residents who live alone suffer from higher levels of stress because they have no one to care for them when they fall ill and experience other problems. For instance, a recent BBC documentary revealed that lack of family attachment is the prime reason apart from work stress that is leading to an increased number of family breakups, suicides, and domestic violence in London households. Children also suffer from the shrinking of family size. Children with busy parents are left alone at care centres and schools without much affection and guidance to nurture them at their tender age. The support provided by day care centres is no match to the love and care a child can receive from extended family members like grandparents. Despite the above detrimental effects there may be a positive aspect to having a small family in a city. The only positive side in having a small family is financial affordability in a city environment. It is true that cost cutting is important for urban dwellers; however, living in a joint family is a great way to beat loneliness, and alienation. In conclusion, it is evident that small families are the norm in cities although a large extended family with joy and bonding is important for a thriving family. In my opinion, if given a chance, people should never hesitate to share their space with their extended family.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure has undergone drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
due to urbanization. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
consist of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one or two persons. In my opinion, the shrinking of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
unit is an unwelcome trend.

Families are becoming smaller due to a number of reasons and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend. The main reason is that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
they fail to bond with their relatives. And those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone suffer from loneliness and depression.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urban residents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone suffer from higher levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for them when they fall ill and experience other problems.
For instance
, a recent BBC documentary revealed that lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
attachment is the prime reason apart from work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that is
leading to an increased number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
breakups, suicides, and domestic violence in London households. Children
also
suffer from the shrinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size. Children with busy parents are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and schools without much affection and guidance to nurture them at their tender age. The support provided by day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
is no match to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
a child can receive from extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members like grandparents.

Despite the above detrimental effects there may be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect to having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in a city. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side in having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is financial affordability in a city environment. It is true that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost cutting
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for urban dwellers;
however
, living in a joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a great way to beat loneliness, and alienation.

In conclusion
, it is evident that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are the norm in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
although a large extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with joy and bonding is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a thriving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In my opinion, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should never hesitate to share their space with their extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.

IELTS essay In Many Countries Today, People In Cities Either Live Alone Or In Small Family Units

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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