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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss these both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, it is undeniable that children’s education is one of the most pressing topics in every society. The discussion is held whether parents should teach their children how to be responsible citizens or this main task should be left to the school. Firstly, the school is one of the most significant places for anyone’s childhood, as it is the first time that a child comes in contact with other individuals in a small society: the class. Consequently, a child learns how to behave correctly without damaging who is around him, to interact with others and to listen to others' opinion without judging them. Therefore, all the processes developed inside this education place allow to shape a future liable member of society. In contrast, others strongly believe that the task to teach children how to behave in a community depends on their parents, as, before school, a child learns the most important values at home. Teenagers, from when they are young, copy their parents behaviours, until these last become their own way to communicate and act. A good example is the use of the words “thank you”. It is their parents work to teach their child to be thankful, even when, for istance, their kid receives just a candy. Moreover, being used to say these two words, once that kid grew up, it will be normal for him to say them in a employee in a shop or to his friend who did him a favour. In conclusion, I deeply believe that children’s education starts between the walls of their own house. This transmission of principles from their parents has to be supported by the attendance at school.
Nowadays, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education is one of the most pressing topics in every society. The discussion
is held
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be responsible citizens or this main task should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to the school.

Firstly
, the school is one of the most significant places for anyone’s childhood, as it is the
first
time that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in contact with other individuals in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
society: the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Consequently
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
learns how to behave
correctly
without damaging who is around him, to interact with others and to listen to others' opinion without judging them.
Therefore
, all the processes developed inside this education place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to shape a future liable member of society.

In contrast
, others
strongly
believe that the task to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to behave in a community depends on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
school, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
learns the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
values at home.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
, from when they are young, copy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, until these last become their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way to communicate and act. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the words “thank you”. It is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
work to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to be thankful, even when, for
Possible spelling mistake found.
istance
, their kid receives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a candy.
Moreover
, being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to say these two words, once that kid grew up, it will be normal for him to say them in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
employee in a shop or to his friend who did him a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.

In conclusion
, I
deeply
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
between the walls of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. This transmission of principles from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be supported
by the attendance at school.

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss these both views and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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