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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that schools is the place to learn this. Discuss both views.

There is no doubt that building strong character in children is geared towards teaching them how to be a good citizen. Some people assume that parents should take responsibility for guiding the children while others argue that teachers are superior for such an important role. Although both opinions carry equal strength, I lean towards the former one much more. I will state my opinion on the following points It is evident that children spend a lot of time in school on a daily basis. Therefore, they are expected to learn valuable skills from interacting with their peers and teachers. Such a wide range of good manners and behaviours could be taught such as honesty, moderation through classes. For example, children can learn the importance of discipline, teamwork and punctuality. Not only in school but also parents play a crucial part in guiding children. They allocate and devote time to help their offsprings shaping their personality. Parents educate them about love, empathy and kindness. Hence, their contributions are exceptional Although both viewpoints are persuasive, I am of the opinion that parents are superior. They are the first teachers and home is the first place where children learn about life lessons. On top of that, parents are considered to be role models for them to imitate. They know how to set good examples for their offsprings. Parents teach them to show respect to the elders, deal with day to day matters, dedication, …They could teach their children more specifically and more efficiently while there are less chances at school. To conclude, both teachers and parents play crucial parts in educating children how to be a good member of society. From my point of view, parents should take this task on their shoulders as the children could learn things more efficiently from them.
There is no doubt that building strong character in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is geared
towards teaching them how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
citizen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take responsibility for guiding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are superior for such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role. Although both opinions carry equal strength, I lean towards the former one much more. I will state my opinion on the following points

It is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in school on a daily basis.
Therefore
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from interacting with their peers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Such a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviours’ is British English.
behaviours
could
be taught
such as honesty, moderation through classes.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the importance of discipline, teamwork and punctuality. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a crucial part in guiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They allocate and devote time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their offsprings shaping their personality.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
educate them about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, empathy and kindness.
Hence
, their contributions are exceptional

Although both viewpoints are persuasive, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are superior. They are the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and home is the
first
place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about life lessons.
On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are considered
to be role models for them to imitate. They know how to set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
examples for their offsprings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
teach them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
respect to the elders, deal with day to day matters, dedication, …
Add a space between sentences
They
could teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more
specifically
and more
efficiently
while there are
Did you mean “fewer”? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances at school.

To conclude
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play crucial parts in educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of society. From my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take this task on their shoulders as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
things more
efficiently
from them.
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that schools is the place to learn this.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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