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Some people think that parents have a great influence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents have a great influence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger influence. KWQ10
n this contemporary era, kids are learning things not only from their families but also from broadcasting media. Resultantly, whereas some individuals claim that TV channels and social networks have a great impact on children’s attitudes, others contend that parents can only influence to mould the temperament of a child in the best way. I, too, wholeheartedly feel that through family members, children learn the most valuable things to lead their lives. The media is considered to be instrumental in influencing adolescents’ behaviour in that most of the time they love to spend time in front of the TV or computer. As a result, a child will learn whatever he or she watches on these channels. To cite an example, an empirical study conducted by Oxford University reveals that 90% of school-going children in the UK learn slang languages from YV shows whereas their parents never use such kinds of words in homes. Therefore, media is now influencing how juveniles would react and behave in society. Plausible though children easily catch the things that showed in the media, their dispositions only depend on what they have learned from their families since birth. In other words, from an early age to adolescents, a kid stays close to his or her parents rather than watching TV or playing video games, leading him or her to learn the values, disciplines, to name but a few that are most essential to lead a life smoothly and perfectly. Researchers around the world have found that 95% of successful professionals have passed quality time with their parents in childhood and learnt important lessons to build a career successfully. Hence, insofar as parents get enough time to spend with their babies before their children addicted to media, the influence of families on their children is bigger than any other factor. In conclusion, admittedly, TV media has effects on kids but parents’ influence exceeds all other factors in importance. Thus, I unequivocally buttress the stand of having the highest influence on children by their parents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
n
this contemporary era, kids are learning things not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Resultantly
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals claim that TV channels and social networks have a great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
attitudes, others contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
the temperament of a child in the best way. I, too,
wholeheartedly
feel that through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the most valuable things to lead their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You should probably use: "are".
is
considered to be instrumental in influencing adolescents’
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the TV or computer.
As a result
, a child will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
whatever he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
on these channels. To cite an example, an empirical study conducted by Oxford University reveals that 90% of school-going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
slang languages from
Possible spelling mistake found.
YV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
whereas their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such kinds of words in homes.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
influencing how juveniles would react and behave in society.

Plausible though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
easily
catch the things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, their dispositions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depend on what they have learned from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
since birth. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, from an early age to adolescents, a kid stays close to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rather
than watching TV or playing video games, leading him or her to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the values, disciplines, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few that are most essential to lead a life
smoothly
and
perfectly
. Researchers around the world have found that 95% of successful professionals have passed quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in childhood and
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons to build a career
successfully
.
Hence
, insofar as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their babies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is bigger than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factor.

In conclusion
,
admittedly
, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has effects on kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
exceeds all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors in importance.
Thus
, I
unequivocally
buttress the stand of having the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents have a great influence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger influence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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