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Single-parenting negatively affects children’s physical and mental development; therefore, should be discouraged. Do you agree or disagree with the opinion?

Single-parenting negatively affects children’s physical and mental development; therefore, should be discouraged. with the opinion? k5O6N
Many people argue that one parent family pose adverse impacts on physical and mental development of children. From my perspective, I completely agree with this view for two main reasons. Firstly, children in those households are likely to be deprived of physical ability improvement. Unlike a traditional family, only one individual must manage everything in their family such as earning a living, doing the chores. Therefore, they could not spend much time taking care of their children, including preparing a balanced diet or teaching survival skills, which would hinder the physical enhancement from children. Moreover, as only one individual in a family focuses on financial issues, single parents are likely to be in a bad economic status. Their children, as a result, could lose an opportunity to be an educational investment to develop their ability in a good environment which would impared their career in the future. The second reason is that the adsense of other parents would also have adverse influences on children’s mental health. The children of lone parents would go through the emotional trauma of not having both mother and father caring. Moreover, they would be jealious and face discrimination without living in traditional family by their friends and others. Owing to putting up with criticism and being irritated, in the long run, those children would have a mental breakdown due to depression and loneliness. In conclusion, lone-parenting should be discouraged because of its negative consequences on children in terms of physical and mental development. I am also convinced that the government should impose some rules related to single-parent to migrate its many detrimental effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
pose adverse impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. From my perspective, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view for two main reasons.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in those households are likely to
be deprived
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
ability improvement. Unlike a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
manage everything in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
such as earning a living, doing the chores.
Therefore
, they could not spend much time taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, including preparing a balanced diet or teaching survival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which would hinder the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
enhancement from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one individual in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
focuses on financial issues, single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are likely to be in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
economic status. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
as a result
, could lose an opportunity to be an educational investment to develop their ability in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment which would
Possible spelling mistake found.
impared
their career in the future.

The second reason is that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
adsense
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
also
have adverse influences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of lone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would go through the emotional trauma of not having both mother and father caring.
Moreover
, they would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
jealious
and face discrimination without living in traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
by their friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. Owing to putting up with criticism and
being irritated
, in the long run, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
breakdown due to depression and loneliness.

In conclusion
, lone-parenting should
be discouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
development. I am
also
convinced that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
related to single-parent to migrate its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects.
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IELTS essay Single-parenting negatively affects children’s physical and mental development; therefore, should be discouraged. with the opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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