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Nowadays buying on the internet things like books, air tickets, groceries become popular. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Nowadays buying on the internet things like books, air tickets, groceries become popular. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages? BMpJV
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is online shopping. It is undeniable that shopping has become an essential part of our life. However there is no absolute agreement as some people find buying things in internet beneficial, while others consider everything associated with it negatively. Surely, there are both pros and cons to it, but I believe advantages outweigh disadvantages. One of the main positives of purchasing in the internet is that it's time-saving and cheaper. Majority of people consider that if the certain thing is not available in convenient stores of the city then individuals can find it on the internet. Another advantage is that online shopping have many choices for everything such as clothes of different brands, toys even the skincare products. A good example here is during the pandemic, people cannot visit the shopping malls due to the strong restrictions. Meanwhile they shopped online, so it become more preferable by society. Turning to the other side of argument, some people claim that it is uncomfortable and spending money in vain. However, in most cases online products came in the poor quality and do not satisfies customers. Another major disadvantage is that it requires a lot of time to the specific thing to get to the final destination. Clothes and books most of the time come at least within month or never come though, consequently this side of buying online create dissatisfaction in the buyers. Having weighed everything mentioned up, we can come to a conclusion that it is everyone's preference to buy things in the internet. However for some of people it can be perfect approach of obtain something and for others it can also be disappointment.
One of the
widely
discussed issues nowadays is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become an essential part of our life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there is no absolute agreement as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find buying things in internet beneficial, while others consider everything associated with it
negatively
.
Surely
, there are both pros and cons to it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe advantages outweigh disadvantages.

One of the main positives of purchasing
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
is that it's time-saving and cheaper. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that if the certain thing is not available in convenient stores of the city then individuals can find it on the internet. Another advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices for everything such as clothes of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands, toys even the skincare products. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is during the pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls due to the strong restrictions.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
they shopped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
more preferable by society.

Turning to the other side of argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it is uncomfortable and spending money in vain.
However
,
in most cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
products came in the poor quality and do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "satisfy"?
satisfies
customers. Another major disadvantage is that it requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to the specific thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the final destination. Clothes and books most of the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at least within month or never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
though,
consequently
this side of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
create dissatisfaction in the buyers.

Having weighed everything mentioned up, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a conclusion that it is everyone's preference to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it can be perfect approach of obtain something and for others it can
also
be disappointment.

IELTS essay Nowadays buying on the internet things like books, air tickets, groceries become popular. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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