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some people think that only government can make significant change in society while other thing individuals can have lot of influence. what is your opinion?

some people think that only government can make significant change in society while other thing individuals can have lot of influence. what is your opinion? 83kB
Some people think that government play an imperative role to mutate the community. Other think that individually have to come forward. In my opinion, I believe humans have to work individually to take solution for the civilization. Some human beings think government should do extra things for the cities. For instances, make a strict rules for traffic. In this way government put stop on the speed limits. Further, accident should be stopped properly. Others think differently the change in public should starts from people than its out put comes quickly for example, if surroundings clean by folks than society do not have any problem. Moreover, there are many gardens in our city cannot throw the little inside it. Put these small things into the garbage bins. I think humans must start from their homes. Small thinks make a big changes in society. Firstly, cannot give car, bike to the adults until they graduates from higher studies. Secondly, Accident rate less because when teenagers start driving they mature. To sum up, only government cannot change the community, Unless individual cannot come to solve this matter.
Some
people
think
that
government
play an imperative role to mutate the community. Other
think
that
individually
have to
come
forward. In my opinion, I believe humans
have to
work
individually
to take solution for the civilization.

Some
human beings
think
government
should do extra things for the cities. For instances,
make
a strict
rules
for traffic. In this way
government
put
stop
on the speed limits.
Further
, accident should be
stopped
properly
. Others
think
differently
the
change
in public should
starts
from
people
than its out put
comes
quickly
for example
, if surroundings clean by folks than society do not have any problem.
Moreover
, there are
many
gardens in our city cannot throw the
little
inside it. Put these
small
things into the garbage bins.

I
think
humans
must
start
from their homes.
Small
thinks
make
a
big
changes
in society.
Firstly
, cannot give car, bike to the adults until they
graduates
from higher studies.
Secondly
, Accident rate less
because
when
teenagers
start
driving they mature.

To sum up,
only
government
cannot
change
the community, Unless individual cannot
come
to solve this matter.
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IELTS essay some people think that only government can make significant change in society while other thing individuals can have lot of influence. what is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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