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Some people think that music is a good way brging people toghether. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that music is a good way brging people toghether. ewR6p
It is believed that people’s connection can be bonded by music. From my point of view, I absolutely contend with this opinion. To commence with, there is no denying that music helps individuals gain more knowledge about other cultures in the world. In particular, when they listen to foreign music, they are able to not only relax themselves but also have better understanding of its customs through lyrics. As a result, all nations are probably to know each other better and better. Secondly, it can not be denied that being capable of showing feelings and thinking is one of the most potential benefits of music. For instance, instead of saying directly what people’s think, they tend to use music to express their emotions more smoothily especially for those who are bad at saying sweet words. Besides, some music categories are loved by all, and the listeners feel a sense of togetherness in a divine way which is almost absent in other art forms. Last but not least, individuals seems to have great chance to enhance and even build more relationships with their buddies on the global scale. According to the newest recent survey conducted by a small group of students, it shows that thanks to music, teenagers are likely to have more friends via their tastes of music. Specifically, it will be easier for them to work together as well as find a real soulmates. No matter what language it is, people reall appreciate the melody and depth of music which is why people of all ages can sit together and enjoy the same music. In conclusion, without doubt, music is an indispensable tool to boost people’s bonding.
It
is believed
that
people’s
connection can
be bonded
by
music
. From my point of view, I
absolutely
contend with this opinion.

To commence with, there is no denying that
music
helps
individuals gain more knowledge about other cultures in the world.
In particular
, when they listen to foreign
music
, they are able to not
only
relax themselves
but
also
have better understanding of its customs through lyrics.
As a result
, all nations are
probably
to know each other better and better.

Secondly
, it can not
be denied
that being capable of showing feelings and thinking is one of the most potential benefits of
music
.
For instance
,
instead
of saying
directly
what
people’s
think
, they tend to
use
music
to express their emotions more
smoothily
especially
for those who are
bad
at saying sweet words.
Besides
,
some
music
categories are
loved
by all, and the listeners feel a sense of togetherness
in a divine way
which is almost absent in other art forms.

Last
but
not least, individuals seems to have great chance to enhance and even build more relationships with their buddies on the global scale. According to the newest recent survey conducted by a
small
group of students, it
shows
that thanks to
music
,
teenagers
are likely to have more friends via their tastes of
music
.
Specifically
, it will be easier for them to work together
as well
as find a real
soulmates
. No matter what language it is,
people
reall
appreciate the melody and depth of
music
which is why
people
of all ages can sit together and enjoy the same music.

In conclusion
, without doubt,
music
is an indispensable tool to boost
people’s
bonding.
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IELTS essay Some people think that music is a good way brging people toghether.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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