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Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. jNG1
In these days, it is believed while some consider that museums should be in the type of entertainment area, others hold the firm belief that it must be place where people can learn something. Personally speaking, it is my belief that such kind of place must aim both education and entertainment. On the one hand, it must be claimed that in this modern world people have more demand on gaining information related to their history compared to the past. So considering that they are using a great number of methods in this way, such as surfing the Internet or attending to tutors. However, museums are accounted as a place that has an impact on this, to tell the truth. To be more specific, a majority of individuals are coming to visit to the museums in order to get information about the history as well as traditions of their countries. In addition to this, I, myself, can say that clearly by visiting museums we can be aware of more information than other types of methods, i. e. the Internet or tutors. On the other hand, the other side of coin must be accounted as well. Clearly, after hard work day people have a desire to refresh their brain by visiting somewhere else with their family members or friends. In this time, they have a desire to
In these days, it
is believed
while
some
consider that
museums
should be in the type of entertainment area, others hold the firm belief that it
must
be place where
people
can learn something.
Personally
speaking, it is my belief that such kind of place
must
aim both education and entertainment.

On the one hand, it
must
be claimed
that in this modern world
people
have more demand on gaining information related to their history compared to the past.
So
considering that they are using a great number of methods in this way, such as surfing the Internet or attending to tutors.
However
,
museums
are accounted
as a place that has an impact on this, to
tell
the truth. To be more specific, a majority of individuals are coming to visit to the
museums
in order to
get
information about the history
as well
as traditions of their countries.
In addition
to this, I, myself, can say that
clearly
by visiting
museums
we can be aware of more information than
other
types of methods,
i. e.
the Internet or tutors.

On the
other
hand, the
other
side of coin
must
be accounted
as well
.
Clearly
, after
hard
work day
people
have a desire to refresh their brain by visiting somewhere else with their family members or friends. In this time, they have a desire
to
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IELTS essay Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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