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Some people think that movies and computer games containing violence are popular in which some people think they have a worst effect on society and should be ban other group of people think these are harmless relaxation. Discuss both views.

Some people think that movies and computer games containing violence are popular in which some people think they have a worst effect on society and should be ban other group of people think these are harmless relaxation. Ql7mX
There are split opinions regarding movies and computer games containing violence are popular in which some people think they have a worst effect on society and should be prohibited. Whereas, other group of thinkers sport they are harmless relaxation. Both has its pros and cons and the inclination are justified in the following paragraph. In the primary arguments the foremost one is that watching movies and computer games had washed effect on Health as watching and setting for a long time make cause your problems like eyevision weak, backache, etcetera. Further more, while watching online movie sometime gives a negative advertisement which impose a bad effect on personal especially on children’s. Moving further, children playing computer games like PUBG, call of duty, rummy and so on leads to the wastage of their parents money. For instance majority of children in Punjab are spending money in these games to buy skins, clothes and many more for their fun but this tends to wastage of their parents savings On the contrary the movies and computer games also tends the positive effect. As watching educational movies like super 30, three idiots etcetera had a good impose on the humans. Besides this, the games like solving puzzle and many more help to sharpen the mind also to increase the intelligence level of human beings. Additionally, nowadays, there is a stress of many activities and these activities also helps in relaxation of mind and to reduce the stress. To sum up, I would like to suggest that movies and computer games has to be washed in an excessive way and parents should take some preventions on their children while they are watching movies and playing computer games.
There
are split
opinions regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
containing violence are popular in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they have
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
worst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on society and should
be prohibited
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, other group of thinkers sport they are harmless relaxation. Both has its pros and cons and the inclination
are justified
in the following paragraph.

In the primary arguments the foremost one is that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had washed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on Health as watching and setting for a long time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
cause your problems like
Possible spelling mistake found.
eyevision
weak, backache, etcetera.
Further
more, while watching online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
sometime gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
advertisement which impose a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on personal
especially
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
. Moving
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like PUBG,
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
call of duty
, rummy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on leads to the wastage of their parents money.
For instance
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in Punjab are spending money in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
skins, clothes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more for their fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this tends to wastage of their parents savings

On the contrary
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
tends the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
. As watching educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
like super 30, three idiots etcetera had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impose on the humans.
Besides
this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like solving puzzle and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to sharpen the mind
also
to increase the intelligence level of human beings.
Additionally
, nowadays, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities and these activities
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in relaxation of mind and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To sum up, I would like to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be washed
Consider replacing "in an excessive way" with the adverb for "excessive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an excessive way
and parents should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
preventions on
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while they are watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that movies and computer games containing violence are popular in which some people think they have a worst effect on society and should be ban other group of people think these are harmless relaxation.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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