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Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries and their life

Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries and their life B7m1X
In today’s era younger people are easily reached with rising of social media platforms rather than unknown historical figures. Myriad causes could be attributed to this which include people’s interest in international traditions as well as towards the more entertainment. In this essay I shall fortify above mention causes and solution with necessary illustration and logical arguments before citing my feasible conclusion. The first and perhaps the most important reason seem to be folks interest in know about international cultural and their lifestyle. By this I mean that people are moving to the foreign traditions where popstars and celebrities play essential role. For example, the hollywood movies shows their region culture in various ways. The second reason appears to be current scenario’s people find more and more entertain their self with music, movies, comedies and also with shows. This mean that people entertained by foreign artist and with social media platforms they can easily reach to them and enjoy their shows as well as music. For instance, facebook which is the best and worldwide social media platform where anyone find out their interested celebrities and follow them. Numerous solution can be put into place to tackle this menace. First of all, to represent the historical figures people try to make movies on them and people try to make movies on them and widely spread in to the youngsters with various platforms. In brief, it helps to youngsters to know about their past famous persons and also aware with them. Second of all, historical figures try to stand out them self publicly and make more work in mass. In detail, they grab easy to younger people toward them and try to aware with their regional cultures. Take for an example, held public events which is the best way to catch younger people about historical figures and their lifestyle. In conclusion, if the aforementioned solutions are properly implemented, we can curb this problem to a great extent.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
reached with rising of social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
rather
than unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
. Myriad causes could
be attributed
to this which include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
interest in international traditions
as well
as towards the more entertainment. In this essay I shall fortify above mention causes and solution with necessary illustration and logical arguments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
citing my feasible conclusion.

The
first
and perhaps the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason seem to be folks interest in know about international cultural and their lifestyle. By this I mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to the foreign traditions where
Possible spelling mistake found.
popstars
and celebrities play essential role.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hollywood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
their region culture in various ways.

The second reason appears to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find more and more entertain their self with music,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, comedies and
also
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
. This mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
entertained by foreign artist and with social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
they can
easily
reach to them and enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
as well
as music.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
which is the best and worldwide social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
where anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "finds", "found".
find
out their interested celebrities and follow them.

Numerous solution can
be put
into place to tackle this menace.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, to represent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on them and
widely
spread in to the youngsters with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
.
In brief
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to youngsters to know about their past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
persons and
also
aware with them. Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
try to stand out them self
publicly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more work in mass. In detail, they grab easy to younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
toward them and try to aware with their regional cultures. Take for an example, held public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which is the best way to catch younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
and their lifestyle.

In conclusion
, if the aforementioned solutions are
properly
implemented, we can curb this problem to a great extent.
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IELTS essay Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries and their life

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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