Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that money is the best gift to give youngsters.Others feel that there are better gifts that they can receive .Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that money is the best gift to give youngsters. Others feel that there are better gifts that they can receive. 2b98j
It is a widely held belief that money is perfect as a present for juvenile, but there is a strong counter-argument amongst sections of the people that believe there are many valuable options available to gift children in place of money such as toys, video games, clothes, etcetera. However, I am of the opinion that this is a matter to be debated under the light of several factors before a reasonable conclusion can be drawn. The first and foremost reason is that cash as a gift may impact their life adversely as there is higher chance to invest cash on useless things, narcotics, therefore they may imbibe any unethical habit for the lifetime. The second worth-mentioning reason is that children always trilled about little gifts they never judge gift as it's expensive or inexpensive, they just appreciate what we give them. So it's better to gift things they love such as comics, video games, sports equipment, and any sophisticated gadget. For instance, recently, I gave a Barbie doll present to my niece on her 7th birthday and she was very jubilant after seeing her present and gave me a big hug in return. Moreover, with cash as a present, they may forget after some time but if we gift them item according to their hobbies they always remember us while using that item which develops a great bond and mutual understanding between two. On the other hand money as a gift helps them to buy the things they adore. To be more specific, it's hard to predict the choice of kids, so it's better to gift them money to buy things of their own choice rather than the things they may throw in the dustbin. Besides this, cash as a present teach them money management as offspring always plan how much they have to invest on the thing they want to buy and how much will be left in their hand, to save in their piggybank, which helps them to learn money flow or value of money and how to save for future, which is sophisticated beneficial for adulthood. For example, recently I read a news in an Indian newspaper that a child of 14 years had saved 65000 rupees in his piggybank which he got from relatives as gifts, to buy a motorcycle to his father as he wanted to see his father going office on a bike. To conclude, after analysing both the views I am of the opinion that although money as a gift has a few benefits, there is a high chance that children may use it in the wrong way. Secondly, In formative years, children do not aware of the value of money, so they admire the things they love and play with such as games and toys, which are perfect presents for a kid.
It is a
widely
held belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is perfect as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
for juvenile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a strong counter-argument amongst sections of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that believe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
valuable options available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
such as toys, video games, clothes, etcetera.
However
, I am of the opinion that this is a matter to
be debated
under the light of several factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a reasonable conclusion can
be drawn
.

The
first
and foremost reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
may impact their life
adversely
as there is higher chance to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
on useless things, narcotics,
therefore
they may imbibe any unethical habit for the lifetime. The second worth-mentioning reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always trilled about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
they never judge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
expensive or inexpensive, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
appreciate what we give them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
things they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
such as comics, video games, sports equipment, and any sophisticated gadget.
For instance
, recently, I gave a Barbie doll
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
to my niece on her 7th
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
birthday and
she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
jubilant after seeing her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
and gave me a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hug in return.
Moreover
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, they may forget after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
them item according to their hobbies they always remember us while using that item which develops a great bond and mutual understanding between two.

On the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the things they adore. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to predict the choice of kids,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice
rather
than the things they may throw in the dustbin.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
teach them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management as offspring always plan how much they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest on the thing they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
and how much will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in their hand, to save in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
piggybank
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
flow or value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and how to save for future, which
is sophisticated
beneficial for adulthood.
For example
, recently I read
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "news".
a news
in an Indian newspaper that a child of 14 years had saved 65000 rupees in his
Possible spelling mistake found.
piggybank
which he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from relatives as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a motorcycle to his father as he wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
his father going office on a bike.

To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both the views I am of the opinion that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
has a few benefits, there is a high chance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.
Secondly
, In formative years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not aware of the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they admire the things they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and play with such as games and toys, which are perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
for a kid.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that money is the best gift to give youngsters. Others feel that there are better gifts that they can receive.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
470 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts