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Some people think that mental strength is the most important factor for success in sports. However, some others believe that it is more important to have strong and fit people. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Some people think that mental strength is the most important factor for success in sports. However, some others believe that it is more important to have strong and fit people. l2a1
In sports, some people think that physical health is an essential element for success whereas others undeniably admit that mental health plays an important role in this field. From my point of view, not only physical but mental health contributes to achievements in sport. First of all, success in sports requires getting exceptional physical strength. Some aspects belong to this kind of strength are muscular power, some striking skills such as flexibility, endurance, and resilience. For example, a runner in a sprinting phase makes the most of his energy to win the competition or a basketball player requires a proper resilience and height to score goals in matches. Second, athletes necessitate to gain a proper diet, appropriate training program and resting time which make them able to get their best results. On any occasion, even if someone has a good physical health, practicing strategy should be enhanced and carried out to maintain their strength and actually improve their future demonstrations. As we know, Michael Phelps, one of the most extraordinary swimmers, still regularly and continuously undergoes a training regimen during his illustrious career. Besides, to succeed in sports requires another type of health, that is the power of mental. Although not all of the athletes get achievements at first, volition and emotional efforts can make true change in their results. Mental strength encourages individuals keep training and trying so as to reach better physical health. Moreover, mental health could help people even during matches. In the beginning, losing scores or getting unexpected results may tire individuals out but motivational cheering from teammates, coaches, and audiences preserve their positive spirit to turn the tide. Especially in some long – time matches such as football, basketball, volleyball, and some other kinds of sports, strengthen mental power is one of the indispensable roles for success. To conclude, success in sports attributes to two factors including keeping body strong and fit and maintain good mental health. Thus, training to strengthen both physical and mental power should be encountered to get achievements in this field.
In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is an essential element for success whereas others
undeniably
admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this field. From my point of view, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
contributes to achievements in sport.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
requires getting exceptional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
aspects belong to this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
are muscular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
striking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as flexibility, endurance, and resilience.
For example
, a runner in a sprinting phase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the most of his energy to win the competition or a basketball player requires a proper resilience and height to score goals in matches. Second, athletes necessitate to gain a proper diet, appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
program and resting time which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their best results. On any occasion, even if someone has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, practicing strategy should
be enhanced
and carried out to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
and actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their future demonstrations. As we know, Michael Phelps, one of the most extraordinary swimmers,
still
regularly
and
continuously
undergoes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
regimen during his illustrious career.

Besides
, to succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
requires another type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
that is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
. Although not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
achievements at
first
, volition and emotional efforts can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
true
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their results.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
encourages individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and trying
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
reach better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even during matches. In the beginning, losing scores or getting unexpected results may tire individuals out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
motivational cheering from teammates, coaches, and audiences preserve their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
spirit to turn the tide.
Especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
long
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
time matches such as football, basketball, volleyball, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, strengthen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
is one of the indispensable roles for success.

To conclude
, success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
attributes to two factors including keeping body strong and fit and maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to strengthen both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
should
be encountered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
achievements in this field.
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IELTS essay Some people think that mental strength is the most important factor for success in sports. However, some others believe that it is more important to have strong and fit people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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