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Some people think that life was better in past than it is now.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that life was better in past than it is now. 0wMWO
It is commonly witnessed that life was better in past than it is now. However I completely agree with this notion. In the following paragraphs i shall put forth my arguments to support my opinion. The first and the foremost reason is that nowadays due to advanced technology people are busy in their life. People are working day and night to earn money. Their relationships becoming worse day by day because of lack of direct communication. They use mobile phone to talk with each other rather than to meet. However, In the past their is no technology to communicate with each other. So, the only way they have is of direct communication. Because of this, their relationships were good in the past than it is now. The second reason is that in this modern era, due to the presence of numerous of gadgets people prefer indoor activities like mobile games, video games and so on. Because of this their interest towards outdoor activities decreases. As a result, they have to face many health problems like weak immune systems, weak eyesight, back pain obesity and many others. But, in the past people have strong immune systems smd rarely fall sick because they prefer outdoor activities more. As at that time their is no availability of such gadgets. So, to entertain themselves they play gully cricket and other outdoor games. To conclude, I am of the opinion that in past people use leisure time by spending time woth their near and dear and by playing with each others. So, at that time their life was better and they live a less stressful life than it is now.
It is
commonly
witnessed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
than it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. In the following paragraphs
Did you mean "I"?
i
shall put forth my arguments to support my opinion. The
first
and the foremost reason is that nowadays due to advanced technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are working day and night to earn money. Their relationships becoming worse day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of direct communication. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile phone to talk with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
rather
than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
However
, In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
Did you mean "there"?
their
is no technology to communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way they have is of direct communication.
Because of this
, their relationships were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
than it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. The second reason is that in this modern era, due to the presence of numerous of gadgets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer indoor activities like mobile games, video games and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of this their interest towards outdoor activities decreases.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems like weak immune systems, weak eyesight, back pain obesity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have strong immune systems
Possible spelling mistake found.
smd
rarely fall sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they prefer outdoor activities more.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Did you mean "there"?
their
is no availability of such gadgets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to entertain themselves they play gully cricket and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
outdoor games.
To conclude
, I am of the opinion that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
woth
their near and dear and by playing with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
better and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a less stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that life was better in past than it is now.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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