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Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel, but others claim that animals are a necessary part of the diet. What is your opinion?

In recent years, animal welfare and animal protection have been given higher weight by the general public. Many adopt a view that meat plays an indispensable role in human daily meals. However, to the best of my knowledge, I do believe that butchery is cruel, immoral and people can live healthily without slaughtering and eating animals. Firstly, it is important that scientific vegetarian diet which has adequate nutrients and substances has been recognized and favored by a large number of people. Nowadays, scientists have proven that many types of plants such as grains, mushroom, and vegetables can provide integral, crucial substances for health and bodily growth similarly as meat does. In fact, for instance, there are many celebrities and famous persons have to choose to be vegetarians in order to improve their health and fight against the capitalization of animals which leads to animal pain and environmental problems. Secondly, vegetarian diets are vital, beneficial when it comes to human health and well-being. Anecdotal evidence shows that meat-free diets can help to inhibit and even cure some fatal diseases such as cancer. Scientific experiments claim that meat dishes supply nutrients for cancer cells while plant meals do not. Furthermore, albeit intangible, some people recognize that vegetarian lifestyle enhances spiritual life and help them feel better, happier. In conclusion, not only do meatless diets provide sufficiently necessary nutrients for people’s health, but it also improves human life in a positive way. Therefore, people should reduce meat gradually and replace by vegetables because of its benefits and avoiding cause pain to animals.
In recent years,
animal
welfare and
animal
protection have been
given
higher weight by the
general public
.
Many
adopt a view that
meat
plays an indispensable role in human daily meals.
However
, to the best of my knowledge, I do believe that butchery is cruel, immoral and
people
can
live
healthily
without slaughtering and eating animals.

Firstly
, it is
important
that scientific vegetarian diet which has adequate nutrients and substances has
been recognized
and favored by
a large number of
people
. Nowadays, scientists have proven that
many
types of plants such as grains, mushroom, and vegetables can provide integral, crucial substances for
health
and
bodily
growth
similarly
as
meat
does. In fact,
for instance
, there are
many
celebrities and
famous
persons
have to
choose to be vegetarians in order to
improve
their
health
and fight against the capitalization of
animals
which leads to
animal
pain and environmental problems.

Secondly
, vegetarian diets are vital, beneficial when it
comes
to human
health
and well-being. Anecdotal evidence
shows
that meat-free diets can
help
to inhibit and even cure
some
fatal diseases such as cancer. Scientific experiments claim that
meat
dishes supply nutrients for cancer cells while plant meals do not.
Furthermore
, albeit intangible,
some
people
recognize that vegetarian lifestyle enhances spiritual life and
help
them feel better, happier.

In conclusion
, not
only
do meatless diets provide
sufficiently
necessary nutrients for
people’s
health
,
but
it
also
improves
human life in a
positive
way.
Therefore
,
people
should
reduce
meat
gradually
and replace by vegetables
because
of its benefits and avoiding cause pain to
animals
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel, but others claim that animals are a necessary part of the diet. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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