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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion 57an
There are conflicting views between which is more vital in terms of work, is it job satisfaction or to have a permanent job. Some individuals consider that the former is more essential than the latter; however, others surmise that having a permanent job has more benefits than job satisfaction. Being satisfied in one’s job affects the person’s passion towards work as perceived by some. This is because if the worker is passionate with what they’re doing and does not unwillingly drag themselves to work everyday, it empowers them to feel grateful and to be content in their job. When one is passionate enough in the work that they do, they will strive hard to keep their job and the excitement and feeling of joy will be there which will make them stay. Additionally, being highly compensated makes one fulfilled. Having a higher wage enables the individual to acquire their wants and needs. For instance, purchasing luxurious items or a scrumptious meal to reward oneself after a whole day of hustling so that they will be recharged for another day of work. Meanwhile, others consider that having a stable job gives one a total peace of mind. This is due to the fact that permanent employees are bonded with a contract which makes their position secure and if the company needs to reduce their number of staff due to unforeseen circumstances, these personnel are mostly the one who will be safe from termination. Recent news report shows that most laborers in BPO industries that hold a permanent role in their jobs were not affected with the staff reduction brought about by the pandemic in the Philippines because these individuals were under a permanent contract. Furthermore, having a permanent post entails more benefits compared to the temporary ones such as their life insurance has greater coverage and they are entitled to bonuses during Christmas season as well. For these reasons they feel valued by their employer. In conclusion, although there are key points brought about by being satisfied in one’s job such as being contented and being well-compensated, Nevertheless, I am of the view that having additional perks apart from the basic salary and achieving a total sense of peacefulness comes along with having a permanent job are more essential.
There are conflicting views between which is more vital in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction or to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals consider that the former is more essential than the latter;
however
, others surmise that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has more benefits than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction.

Being satisfied
in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
affects the person’s passion towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as perceived by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the worker is passionate with what they’re doing and does not
unwillingly
drag themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, it empowers them to feel grateful and to be content in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. When one is passionate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that they do, they will strive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and the excitement and feeling of joy will be there which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them stay.
Additionally
, being
highly
compensated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one fulfilled.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
a higher wage enables the individual to acquire their wants and needs.
For instance
, purchasing luxurious items or a scrumptious meal to reward oneself after a whole day of hustling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will
be recharged
for another day of work.

Meanwhile, others consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
gives one a total peace of mind.

This is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
employees
are bonded
with a contract which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their position secure and if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their number of staff due to unforeseen circumstances, these personnel are
mostly
the one who will be safe from termination. Recent news report
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that most laborers in BPO industries that hold a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
role in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
with the staff reduction brought about by the pandemic in the Philippines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these individuals were under a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
contract.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
post entails more benefits compared to the temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
such as their life insurance has greater
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
coverage and
they
are entitled
to bonuses during Christmas season
as well
. For these reasons they feel valued by their employer.

In conclusion
, although there are key points brought about by
being satisfied
in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
such as
being contented
and being well-compensated,
Nevertheless
, I am of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
additional perks apart from the basic salary and achieving a total sense of peacefulness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are more essential.
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IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
378 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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