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Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages? DDDk
Many people consider that it is best for the manufacturing units and big commercial setups to move at to/towards the outskirts of a city. I believe it is a worthwhile step considering the health of the majority of the population residing within that city. It provides multiple advantages like reducing the pollution in urban areas and ensuring better living conditions. The many advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages in this case. The shift in industries would significantly reduce the pollution in cities. As we all are aware, the industrial setup releases a lot of toxic chemicals which is mixed with either air or local water source. This poses a serious health hazard to the people who stay in that city. Moreover, moving these big commercial setups would make space for green areas to be incorporated within the urban fabric. For instance, the central park in New York City is one of the largest parks which is made within the urban system. It helps significantly in reducing the air pollution levels and enriching the overall ecosystem. Thus, pushing the commercial setups outside of city limits can be rewarding in many ways. On the other hand, the employees of these companies might have to face some adversities. Since their workplace has moved, they have to commute longer distances every day to reach their office. This would also make it difficult for the companies to find suitable employees as many people would prefer to avoid this hassle and find a job near their house. However, to tackle this issue effectively, the companies can arrange a commute at regular intervals. They can provide shift-wise buses and taxi shuttles for the convenience of their workers and thus can easily relocate at to the outskirts of the city. In conclusion, it is a the best option to shift the industries at the outer limits of the city. This move would help in reducing the overall pollution levels in urban areas along with improving the outdoor air quality. Although there is a disadvantage of long-distance travel associated with it, it can be handled by providing shuttle services by the company. The significant advantage of company relocation surely outweighs the disadvantage in the long run.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that it is best for the manufacturing units and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setups
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
at to/towards the outskirts of a city. I believe it is a worthwhile step considering the health of the majority of the population residing within that city. It provides multiple advantages like reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas and ensuring better living conditions. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages
clearly
outweigh the disadvantages
in this case
. The shift in industries would
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. As we all are aware, the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setup
releases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
toxic chemicals which
is mixed
with either air or local water source. This poses a serious health hazard to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who stay in that city.
Moreover
, moving these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setups
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
space for green areas to
be incorporated
within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
fabric.
For instance
, the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central park
in New York City is one of the largest parks which
is made
within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
system. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
significantly
in reducing the air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
levels and enriching the
overall
ecosystem.
Thus
, pushing the commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
setups
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
city limits can be rewarding in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

On the other hand
, the employees of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adversities. Since their workplace has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
commute longer distances every day to reach their office. This would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to find suitable employees as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would prefer to avoid this hassle and find a job near their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
, to tackle this issue
effectively
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can arrange a commute at regular intervals. They can provide shift-wise buses and taxi shuttles for the convenience of their workers and
thus
can
easily
relocate at to the outskirts of the city.

In conclusion
, it is
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "the" is left.
a the
best option to shift the industries at the outer limits of the city. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
levels in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas along with improving the outdoor air quality. Although there is a disadvantage of long-distance travel associated with it, it can
be handled
by providing shuttle services by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. The significant advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
relocation
surely
outweighs the disadvantage in the long run.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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