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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. d007
or youngsters growth, few masses assert that outdoor activities are more favourable than playing computer games. I fully agree with this given statement, and I believe that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development. To initiate with the benefits of playing outdoor activities. The first and foremost is the enhancement in physical fitness. To elaborate, if juvenile playing outdoor game, they can increase their physical strength and endurance. However, kids also feel energetic as they manage their time for playing outdoor games. As a result, games like cricket, hockey, and football which boost the physical fitness. Apart from this, if youngsters playing outdoor activities, they can maintain their nutrition diet because without proper nutrition outdoor games are not possible to play. Proper diet also lead to disease free lifestyle which may be possible by outdoor activities. Moreover, another major benefit of playing outdoor activities. The primary one is acquire social skills. To explain, if child go out for doing any activity, they make new friends which develops the social skill of children. Furthermore, this skill can help them in the future. As a result, if an child go to park on daily basis, they acquire alot of things: discipline, teamwork and punctuality. To cite an example, Ms dhoni, who was the captain of Indain cricket, he have good communication skills which can help them to become a good player. In conclusion, playing outdoor activities has certain benefits in terms of enhancement in physical fitness and acquiring social skills respectively.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
or
youngsters growth, few masses assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement, and I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are more beneficial for children's development.

To initiate with the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The
first
and foremost is the enhancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness. To elaborate, if juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
game, they can increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength and endurance.
However
, kids
also
feel energetic as they manage their time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like cricket, hockey, and football which boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness. Apart from this, if youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they can maintain their nutrition diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without proper nutrition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are not possible to play. Proper diet
also
lead to disease free lifestyle which may be possible by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities.

Moreover
, another major benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The primary one is
Consider using a past participle here: "acquired".
acquire
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, if child go out for doing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends which develops the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of children.
Furthermore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in the future.
As a result
, if
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
child go to park on daily basis, they acquire
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of things: discipline, teamwork and punctuality. To cite an example, Ms
Possible spelling mistake found.
dhoni
, who was the captain of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Indain
cricket, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
player.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
has certain benefits in terms of enhancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness and acquiring social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
respectively
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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