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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive qqqw
The music industry has gone through a lot of transition for the past century. Surely music has evolved in recent years and people have also adapted to these changes negatively or positively. Morden music has been a voice to many movements that have been occurring on planet earth. Musicians and artists have used music to teach, alarm and warm people about the problems of the world. We can see many young people have adopted some of these dongs to echo their opinions. Take for instance Mike Jackson’s “heal the world make it a better place” Although we all enjoy sound of modern music like rap song and its culture, I will comment on imagine the music industry especially music videos. Most of the music video we see half naked women being the centre of attraction. This has led to influence young girls to adopt cultures like wearing short skirts. Music is a voice we can all use to communicate to each other and solve problem but we have to alert what we listen too or sing so that it can impact on our life positively. We can limit the negative effects
The
music
industry has gone through
a lot of
transition for the past century.
Surely
music
has evolved in recent years and
people
have
also
adapted to these
changes
negatively
or
positively
.

Morden
music
has been a voice to
many
movements that have been occurring on planet earth. Musicians and artists have
used
music
to teach, alarm and warm
people
about the problems of the world. We can
see
many
young
people
have adopted
some
of these dongs to echo their opinions. Take
for instance
Mike Jackson’s “heal the world
make
it a better place


Although we all enjoy sound of modern
music
like rap song and its culture, I will comment on imagine the
music
industry
especially
music
videos. Most of the
music
video we
see
half naked women being the
centre
of attraction. This has led to influence young girls to adopt cultures like wearing short skirts.

Music is a voice we can all
use to
communicate to each other and solve problem
but
we
have to
alert what we listen too or sing
so
that it can impact on our life
positively
. We can limit the
negative
effects
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IELTS essay Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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