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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. k222
Nowadays, the implication of children playing computer games at home has been discussed. Some people argue that children should attend outdoor games instead of playing computer games. I mostly agree with the argument. Due to the advancement of technology, more children rely upon computer games. Most people spend more time in an imaginary world by ignoring the real world. Playing computer games have a wide range of advantages and disadvantages. Many games came into existence from which children can make their learning easy. Spending too many hours staring at a screen can cause eye strain. You tend to blink less while staring at the blue light from a screen, and the movement of the screen makes your eyes work harder to focus. Playing outdoor games will help a person to keep everyone fit and have direct contact with the sunlight. We can show our hidden talents while playing outdoor games. Outdoor games help us to socialize ourselves. Youngsters who play outdoor activities can maintain their nutrition diet. A proper diet also leads to a disease-free lifestyle which may be possible by outdoor activities. Playing computer games may lead to overweight and obesity. Second, social skills are necessary for children to be successful in the future. Playing with real friends helps children to grasp social skills. A recent study held at the University of Delhi states that the people who play outdoor games will be 50% more active than those who play computer games. To conclude, outdoor activities are more beneficial to children than computer games. Therefore, children should be encouraged to attend more outdoor activities with friends.
Nowadays, the implication of
children
playing
computer
games
at home has
been discussed
.
Some
people
argue that
children
should attend
outdoor
games
instead
of
playing
computer
games
. I
mostly
agree
with the argument.

Due to the advancement of technology, more
children
rely upon computer
games
. Most
people
spend more time in an imaginary world by ignoring the real world.
Playing
computer
games
have a wide range of advantages and disadvantages.
Many
games
came into existence from which
children
can
make
their learning easy. Spending too
many
hours staring at a screen can cause eye strain. You tend to blink less while staring at the blue light from a screen, and the movement of the screen
makes
your eyes work harder to focus.

Playing
outdoor
games
will
help
a person to
keep
everyone fit and have direct contact with the sunlight. We can
show
our hidden talents while
playing
outdoor
games
.
Outdoor
games
help
us to socialize ourselves.

Youngsters who play
outdoor
activities can maintain their nutrition diet. A proper diet
also
leads to a disease-free lifestyle which may be possible by
outdoor
activities.

Playing computer
games
may lead to overweight and obesity. Second, social
skills
are necessary for
children
to be successful in the future.
Playing
with real friends
helps
children
to grasp social
skills
. A recent study held at the University of Delhi states that the
people
who play
outdoor
games
will be 50% more active than those who play computer games.

To conclude
,
outdoor
activities are more beneficial to
children
than computer
games
.
Therefore
,
children
should
be encouraged
to attend more
outdoor
activities with friends.
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IELTS essay Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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