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Some people think that it is possible to move the marines from the sea and locate it in the aquarium or museum for travelers who visit their countries and pay money to see beautiful ocean creatures.

Some people think that it is possible to move the marines from the sea and locate it in the aquarium or museum for travelers who visit their countries and pay money to see beautiful ocean creatures. mXb01
Some people think that it is possible to move the marines from the sea and locate it in the aquarium or museum for travelers who visit their countries and pay money to see beautiful ocean creatures. Therefore, I will express my point of view about this issue. According to me, this action makes the world sea decline the number of animals in the sea. Absolutely, the hunter will catch the big, beautiful or rare creatures in the ocean and demonstrate in the aquarium for the visitors watching this. Beside that, the high price of some creatures is the reason for people, it also a purpose of some travel company to sell a high price ticket for travelers for watching this rare creatures. And in the newspapers or TV programes, you can watch a lot of new about the extince of rare animals. On the other hand, bringing aquatic animals from sea may bring economic benefits to people. Clearly, people tend to replace rare creatures and exhibit them in amusement park to many aims, especially to attract visitors to visit their exhibition. For instance, these beautiful, unique and colorful organisms are good earning for investors. Annually, they bring to the investors lots of money and observers. In conclusion, disadvantages outweigh the advantages by those given reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the marines from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
and locate it in the aquarium or museum for travelers who visit their countries and pay money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
.
Therefore
, I will express my point of view about this issue.

This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, this action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
decline the number of animals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
.
Absolutely
, the hunter will catch the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
in the ocean and demonstrate in the aquarium for the visitors watching this. Beside that, the high price of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
is the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it
also
a purpose of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to sell a high price ticket for travelers for watching this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
. And in the newspapers or TV
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "programs", the plural form of the noun 'program'?
programes
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
extince
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rare
animals.

On the other hand
, bringing aquatic animals from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
may bring economic benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Clearly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
and exhibit them in amusement park to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aims,
especially
to attract visitors to visit their exhibition.
For instance
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, unique and colorful organisms are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
earning for investors.
Annually
, they bring to the investors lots of money and observers.

In conclusion
, disadvantages outweigh the advantages by those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
reasons.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is possible to move the marines from the sea and locate it in the aquarium or museum for travelers who visit their countries and pay money to see beautiful ocean creatures.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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