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Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. eM9B
While some people believe that it is required to travel abroad in order to learn about other countries, others think it is not necessary to do so because all the information is available on TV and internet. In this essay I am going to explore both sides of the topic, and explain that why I believe it is required to travel abroad to learn more about other cultures. For most of the people travel is hobby. They love to travel to explore the world, watch the nature and learn about different cultures. Therefore, humans spend a lot of money, and go for sightseeing to enjoy their lives. When people travel they see the reality of another society, gain more information about it, and more importantly release the working environment stress. I think travel is very required to gain trustworthy information about a country, region or society. By travel we can physically see the behavior, culture and nature of a country. However, today’s modern world is occupied by technology. People look after the data they need in internet. But, Internet is not always trustable, it can have a lot of good or bad adjectives about a country which maybe fake. In addition media can also spread propaganda or fake news about a region which might be wrong. That’s why we cannot always trust on technology. In conclusion, a number of people think that travel is necessary to learn about others, while other put faith on technology. In this essay I discussed both sides of the topic, and explored why travel is necessary for people to gain more ideas about countries.
While
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it
is required
to
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travel
abroad in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not necessary to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the information is available on TV and internet. In this essay I am going to explore both sides of the topic, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that why I believe it
is required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures.

For most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is hobby. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to explore the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the nature and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.
Therefore
, humans spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money, and go for sightseeing to enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the reality of another society, gain more information about it, and more
importantly
release the working environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
required to gain trustworthy information about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, region or society. By
The comma is probably missing here: "travel, we".
travel we
can
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the behavior, culture and nature of a country.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world
is occupied
by technology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
look after the data they need in internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, Internet is not always trustable, it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
adjectives about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which maybe fake. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
media can
also
spread propaganda or fake news about a region which might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. That’s why we cannot always trust on technology.

In conclusion
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about others, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
put faith on technology. In this essay I discussed both sides of the topic, and explored why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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