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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. 8qY5
In this ultra-modern era, we have so many option to spent our extra time. Some section of society opine that time should be spent with some brain activity by reading books and playing game. However, other public in favor to not doing any such activity and feel peace of mind in the rest time. I pesonally believe that indeed both have their own importance and both are equaly required. On the one hand, When we looking about former view, we have too much option for entertain our self and we easily spend lot of time by watching television and using social media. Instead of these, we should use our precious time for develop our self. We could use our leasure time by reading new books and playing some intresing mind games, which will help us to improve our knowlege and imagination. It is realy difficult to do this, but it is win-win situation for both side. By this you can relex your self and using extra time for excel your ability. Moreover these type of mind activity help us to develop our skill to face any kind of difficult situation in the future. On the one hand, When we go with later view, people become workholic to fullfill their modern life style. By consiquences, this hectic life load huge stress on the mind. Therefore, it is really important to use extra time to maintaine our peace of mind. For that we should do any stress releaving activity which will provide peace to mind and relax our self, such activity like to do meditation or yoga which have no any heavy physical or mental activity involved. Furthermore, these will provide feeling of fresh and energetic to our self. In conclusion, I believe that we should spend our further time judiciously and divide task between brain excercise and mind resting. Because both are helping us to rise our ability and to releave our enxiety and stress.
In this ultra-modern era, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun option seems to be countable; consider using: "many options".
many option
to spent our extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
section of society opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be spent
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
by reading books and playing game.
However
, other public in favor to not doing any such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
and feel peace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
in the rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
pesonally
believe that
indeed
both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance and both are
Possible spelling mistake found.
equaly
required.

On the one hand, When
Did you mean "we're looking", "we are looking", or "we were looking"?
we looking
about former view, we have too much option for entertain our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
self and
we
easily
spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by watching television and using social media.
Instead
of these, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for develop our self. We could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our
Possible spelling mistake found.
leasure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by reading new books and playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
intresing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
games, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlege
and imagination. It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
realy
difficult to do this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a win-win" or "is an win-win"
is win-win
situation for both side. By this you can
Possible spelling mistake found.
relex
your self and using extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for excel your ability.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
these type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to develop our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to face any kind of difficult situation in the future.

On the one hand, When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
later view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
workholic
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
their modern life style. By
Possible spelling mistake found.
consiquences
, this hectic life load huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
Therefore
, it is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintaine
our peace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. For that we should do any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
Possible spelling mistake found.
releaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
which will provide peace to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and relax our self, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
like to do meditation or yoga which have
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any heavy physical or mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
involved.
Furthermore
, these will provide feeling of fresh and energetic to our self.

In conclusion
, I believe that we should spend our
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
judiciously
and divide task between brain
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
resting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
both are helping us to rise our ability and to
Possible spelling mistake found.
releave
our
Possible spelling mistake found.
enxiety
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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