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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? a3K7
Agriculture is the basis of every aspect of human life. Without it our life style and develop would be on another stage. With the development of technologies and the development of innovative ideas, agriculture is becoming more and more advanced. One would think that with this knowledge, everyone would enjoy a rich abundance in the agriculture sector. Unfortunately, this is not the case! Many people around the world are starving and do not have access to some type of basic food. I think the reason for this problem lies in the strong desire of some people and countries to get rich, develop and be above others. Perhaps this desire started in the past but even nowadays we witness the same behavior called Capitalism. In the beginning, the Capitalism began as an idea for the better life and development of societies without chaos and inequality. But over time, and given human nature, the meaning gradually changes and from something good becomes an expression of something bad. The longing for more and more wealth makes these people and countries destroy natural resources without thinking about what is left behind. Because of these aspirations, even today in some areas the land cannot be cultivated, there are no water sources and the local population suffer because of these shortages. Nowadays, more attention is paid to the consequences of this indiscriminate destruction of these land. Attempts are being made to prevent future ones through various laws and penalties. Also, attempts are being made to help the affected countries and people to be able to develop agriculture. I believe that in order to achieve this, the minimum need for food and water in these areas must first be met. Then we have to create programs and projects for agricultural development in the affected lands. And it is very important to have more information among society and countries. Because the more people know about these problems, the more people will be willing to help and maybe think about what is happening around them. The truth is simple – it all depends on us and our way of thinking. In conclusion, we can say that when we use natural treasures, we must be careful and use then wisely, not to their critical minimum, where there is no going back.
Agriculture is the basis of every aspect of human life. Without it our life style and develop would be on another stage. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of technologies and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, agriculture is becoming more and more advanced. One would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that with this knowledge, everyone would enjoy a rich abundance in the agriculture sector. Unfortunately, this is not the case!

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world are starving and do not have access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
type of basic food. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the reason for this problem lies in the strong desire of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rich, develop and be above others. Perhaps this desire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even nowadays we witness the same behavior called Capitalism.

In the beginning, the Capitalism began as an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for the better life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of societies without chaos and inequality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
over time, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
human nature, the meaning
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and from something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
becomes an expression of something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. The longing for more and more wealth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
natural resources without thinking about what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these aspirations, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas the land cannot
be cultivated
, there are no water sources and the local population suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these shortages.

Nowadays, more attention
is paid
to the consequences of this indiscriminate destruction of these land. Attempts are
being made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
future ones through various laws and penalties.
Also
, attempts are
being made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be able to develop agriculture.

I believe that in order to achieve this, the minimum need for food and water in these areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
first
be met
. Then we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
create programs and projects for agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
lands. And it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have more information among society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about these problems, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and maybe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what is happening around them. The truth is simple
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
it all depends on us and our way of thinking.

In conclusion
, we can say that when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
natural treasures, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be careful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
then
wisely
, not to their critical minimum, where there is no going back.
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IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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