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Some people think that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others think that the information is too important or to valuable to shared freely.

Some people think that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others think that the information is too important or to valuable to shared freely. pRRlm
Nowadays, thanks to the technological breakthrough, we can share and receive a lot more of information than we ever could. People tend to be interested in gaining knowledge from various fields, such as business, science, academics. However, one part of society believes that there is some data which should be kept out of the public eye, while others argue that it is better choice if every information, good or bad, is shared with everyone. On one hand, all the information should be shared with the civilization because of the freedom granted to everyone regarding access to the information, potential prevention of some problems and making informed choices. Firstly, every human being should be entitled with right to know any data that can either benefit or harm them. Moreover, knowledge gained through these researches or literature could benefit people in a way that they can prevent some potential problems or consequences. This can benefit society in many ways, such as work towards the decrease of activities that cause climate change. Finally, when people possess information and knowledge on some topic, they can make informed choices. On the other hand, hiding some data or facts is necessary because some people might not understand it well, and it is also safer for them, as it can cause mass hysteria. Ordinary people usually do not possess enough knowledge to understand what was the aim of some reasearch or what do the results mean, and they tend to pull it out of the original context. This can lead to conspiracy theories or sharing fake news, which could be extremely dangerous. Furthermore, valuable information is almost always protected with a reason, and it usually includes humanity’s safety. If people are to find out some potentially harmful or freightening news, they could start a mass panic. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages on both sides, but I would argue that it is safer to keep some information away from public, in order to protect the public from itself.
Nowadays, thanks to the technological breakthrough, we can share and receive a lot more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
than we ever could.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to
be interested
in gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from various fields, such as business, science, academics.
However
, one part of society believes that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
out of the public eye, while others argue that it is better choice if every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
is shared
with everyone.

On one hand, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be shared
with the civilization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the freedom granted to everyone regarding access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, potential prevention of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems and making informed choices.
Firstly
, every human being should
be entitled
with right to know any data that can either benefit or harm them.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained through these researches or literature could benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a way that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential problems or consequences. This can benefit society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, such as work towards the decrease of activities that cause climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Finally
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
possess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
topic, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
informed choices.

On the other hand
, hiding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data or facts is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might not understand it well, and it is
also
safer for them, as it can cause mass hysteria. Ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
do not possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to understand what was the aim of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasearch
or what do the results mean, and they tend to pull it out of the original context. This can lead to conspiracy theories or sharing fake news, which could be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
Furthermore
, valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is almost always protected with a reason, and it
usually
includes humanity’s safety. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are to find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potentially
harmful or
Possible spelling mistake found.
freightening
news, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a mass panic.

In conclusion
, there are advantages and disadvantages on both sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would argue that it is safer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
away from public, in order to protect the public from itself.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others think that the information is too important or to valuable to shared freely.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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