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Some people think that it is better to raise children in the countryside than the city. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that it is better to raise children in the countryside than the city. dloar
There is no consensus on whether individuals should bring our children up in the rural areas or in the metropolitan ones. From my perspective, I am firmly inclined to think that raising children in places where far away from urban can create more advantages. This observation is supported by two principal reasons that I will discuss in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, there is a profusion of pollutants in the city which have harmful effects on children's development. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. My cousin's family moved to the town to settle down after three years since he was born. Even though it is thought that his life would fruitfully change by inheriting a progressive facilitates here, he gradually got sick. That is because he got trouble acclimating himself to the city's environment which was surrounded by concrete and barren landscapes and polluted air. Hence, he moved to the hospital right after a month when he constantly had a critical cough sign. After a month of deliberate thinking, his parents decided to turn back to the hometown to remain in the whole atmosphere to facilitate his stable growth. That is why I believe the lack of natural green spaces together with the pollutants area in the city cannot be of benefit to young children. Furthermore, there explicitly is not enough courtyard for children to execute such physical activities in dense population regions. Instead, youngsters who spend their lives in the blocked capacity almost have a penchant for enjoying virtual games. I have to admit that my personal experience has profoundly influenced my opinion on this matter. When I was little, I was confined to depart home whenever there was no class considerable with the complicated vehicles. As a result, I have no better choice to amuse rather than play video entertainment. The more extended time I spend on this, the worse healthy I get. Consequently, my sight faculty has steadily been substandard, and I have had to wear glasses since I was six. That is why it cannot be indisputable that if children are only exposed to barren views such as cities, it could affect their physical condition. In conclusion, I vehemently deem that children in the city are at more disadvantage because those raised in the countryside benefit better and greater due to their close proximity to nature.
There is no consensus on whether individuals should bring our
children
up in the rural areas or in the metropolitan ones. From my perspective, I am
firmly
inclined to
think
that raising
children
in places where far away from urban can create more advantages. This observation
is supported
by two principal reasons that I will discuss in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
begin
with, there is a profusion of pollutants in the city which have harmful effects on children's development. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. My cousin's family
moved
to the town to settle down after three years since he
was born
.
Even though
it is
thought
that his life would
fruitfully
change
by inheriting a progressive facilitates here, he
gradually
got
sick.
That is
because
he
got
trouble acclimating himself to the city's environment which
was surrounded
by concrete and barren landscapes and polluted air.
Hence
, he
moved
to the hospital right after a month when he
constantly
had a critical cough
sign
. After a month of deliberate thinking, his parents decided to turn back to the hometown to remain in the whole atmosphere to facilitate his stable growth.
That is
why I believe the lack of natural green spaces together with the
pollutants
area in the city cannot be of benefit to young children.

Furthermore
, there
explicitly
is not
enough
courtyard for
children
to execute such physical activities in dense population regions.
Instead
, youngsters who spend their
lives
in the blocked capacity almost have a penchant for enjoying virtual games. I
have to
admit that my personal experience has
profoundly
influenced my opinion on this matter. When I was
little
, I
was confined
to depart home whenever there was no
class
considerable with the complicated vehicles.
As a result
, I have no better choice to amuse
rather
than play video entertainment. The more extended time I spend on this, the worse healthy I
get
.
Consequently
, my sight faculty has
steadily
been substandard, and I have had to wear glasses since I was six.
That is
why it cannot be indisputable that if
children
are
only
exposed to barren views such as
cities
, it could affect their physical condition.

In conclusion
, I
vehemently
deem that
children
in the city are at more disadvantage
because
those raised in the countryside benefit better and greater due to their
close proximity
to nature.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to raise children in the countryside than the city.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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