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Some people think that it is better to include more parks and sport

Some people think that it is better to include more parks and sport L9rrr
part2 Nowadays, in the city centre or urban side there are less parking spots, and making people park the car beside the pavement, Eventually becomes illegal. Some people believe that it is good to have lots more parking lots and gyms in the new metropolis area, because it makes people in the country more comfortable and enjoyable, rather than building shopping centres or supermarkets. I totally agree with that advocate and its benefits of creating more parking spaces gyms, and will be discussed in the following paragraphs. A fundamental of shopping centres in country, should be suitable with percentage of people in their country, For example, in one areas should have two or three shopping centres, It is should be enough for one areas, Therefore, if we build less shopping malls, and construction up at facilities such as gym, parking lots, parks and extreme sport areas, that will help lots of people going out to do activities together, and make them healthier. To begin with, We will be seeing lots of condominiums or Malls because these can make lots of profit in new areas. However there should be measured of everything, also along with the space for doing activities, Because nowadays, people need to go shopping mall to do exercises or go to the gym. From my perspective, government or private businesses should create more gyms or parking lots, because when people go outside they will lack parking lots, and will be afraid of cars stolen or cars crashed. So if they have a safe space for parking their cars, they have gone to the gym more than nowadays. In conclusion, I agree with this statement that should have more public parking and activity facilities in the new area, because it will be provided people to go outside and feels safe, and can do activities together rather than build up more shopping malls.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
part2


Nowadays, in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
or urban side there are less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
spots, and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
park the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
beside the pavement,
Eventually
becomes illegal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
in the new metropolis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the country more comfortable and enjoyable,
rather
than building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
or supermarkets. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that advocate and its benefits of creating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
spaces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
, and will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs.

A fundamental of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in country, should be suitable with percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their country,
For example
, in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
should have two or three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, It
Did you mean "it"?
is
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
Therefore
, if we build less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, and construction up at facilities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
, parks and extreme sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going out to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
together, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them healthier.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, We will be seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of condominiums or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Malls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of profit in new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there should
be measured
of everything,
also
along with the space for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
to do exercises or go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
. From my perspective,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or private businesses should create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go outside they will lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
, and will be afraid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
stolen or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
crashed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if they have a safe space for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, they have gone to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
more than nowadays.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that should have more public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
facilities in the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
be provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go outside and feels safe, and can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
together
rather
than build up more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to include more parks and sport

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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