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In digital age, children spend a lot of their time using social media. Many people believe that children should not be allowed to use social media because it can have negative effects on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In digital age, children spend a lot of their time using social media. Many people believe that children should not be allowed to use social media because it can have negative effects on them. with this statement? oxRVB
There is no denying that parents are easier allowing their kids to approach the social media since they was really young. There are a large number of people argued that this thing should be stopped as soon as possible. Personally I cast no doubt on isolating children to the social media. For variety of reasons, children will copy what they saw and unfortunately that internet is a source which is uncontrolled. On these days, Facebook, Instagram of Twitter are world-rekwown for attracting a mass of individuals of the entire world and a huge amount of them are under 18. As a result, these companies can not controll the educated information and a detrimental sources will jeorpardise the young mindset. As mentioned, bad knowledge will take steps to create a bad behavior in kids’s brain. For instance, there are numerous students are starting to say rude word, and sexual activities through the information they witnessed on the Internet. There are stronger reasons to argue that social media is a predator to make children easily addicted to them. Online sources have an endless content. Consequently, under-18 boys or girls always feel forced to turn on their mobilephone in order to surf and explore all the day. Being an addict to social media, they no longer have passionate to intellectual or sport activities. This means that their academic ability will be detoriorating gradually. If this situation arise in such a long time, bad grade is inevitable and may be running a risk of reapeating class. In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I was completely persuaded with the notion not to allow kids approaching and utilising social media. In my opinion, it is valueless and can exert such a bad awareness and an impedition to their schooling progress. It’s high time that family and schools to ban children from using the social media.
There is no denying that parents are easier allowing their kids to approach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
since they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
was
really
young. There are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argued that this thing should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
Personally
I cast no doubt on isolating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

For variety of reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will copy what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
and unfortunately that internet is a source which
is uncontrolled
. On these days, Facebook, Instagram of Twitter are
Possible spelling mistake found.
world-rekwown
for attracting a mass of individuals of the entire world and a huge amount of them are under 18.
As a result
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can not
Possible spelling mistake found.
controll
the educated information and a detrimental sources will
Possible spelling mistake found.
jeorpardise
the young mindset. As mentioned,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
knowledge will take steps to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
behavior in
Did you mean "kid’s" or "kids’"?
kids’s
brain.
For instance
, there are numerous students are starting to say rude word, and sexual activities through the information they witnessed on the Internet.

There are stronger reasons to argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a predator to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
easily
addicted to them. Online sources have an endless content.
Consequently
, under-18 boys or girls always feel forced to turn on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
mobilephone
in order to surf and explore all the day. Being an addict to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, they no longer have passionate to intellectual or sport activities. This means that their academic ability will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
detoriorating
gradually
. If
The verb 'arise' is plural. Did you mean: "this situation arises"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this situation arise
in such a long time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
grade is inevitable and may be running a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
reapeating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

In conclusion
, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I was completely persuaded with the notion not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
kids approaching and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. In my opinion, it is valueless and can exert such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
awareness and an
Possible spelling mistake found.
impedition
to their schooling progress. It’s high time that family and schools to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
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IELTS essay In digital age, children spend a lot of their time using social media. Many people believe that children should not be allowed to use social media because it can have negative effects on them. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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