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Some People Think That It Is Better To Educate Boys And Girls In Separate Schools | Band 8 IELTS Essay Sample

Some People Think That It Is Better To Educate Boys And Girls In Separate Schools | Band 8 IELTS Essay Sample 3LEjX
It is often discuss in various ways that boys and girls should be teach in different schools while many suggest that co-education has very advantages. Though I believe now, it should be mandatory to educate children in co-education schools and colleges. The subsequent paragraphs discuss this topic further. Firstly, one group of people believe that teaching males and females separately helps them to focus on their education. They often say that it can bring core strength in physical and mental state, it will not distract children’s concentration and will allow them to do some extra curriculum activity. For example, a lightweight boxing champion says in his interview that studying in a single sex school helps him to focus on his passion and that drives him to this top position in boxing. On other side, numerous experts believe that government should now make it compulsory to studying in mixed school and college. As they say, it individually help children to grow in different prospects, by understanding opposite gender nature and the way to approaching any task, because eventually both males and females have it’s own capability for conducting such tasks. In addition, as per research male and female hormones work in a very distinct manner, which allow them to do activities in different ways. For instance, a successful businessman, Mr. Manoj says in his interview that in college time whenever he feels inferior, his girlfriend motivate him and gives courage to perform well, which is now his wife. So, he gave all the success credit to his wife. To conclude, studying in single sex school has it’s own way of merits. Although, I would suggest to approach co-education method, which allows children to determine gender equality and culture.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
discuss in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
that boys and girls should be
Consider using the past participle "taught"?
teach
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
suggest that co-education has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advantages. Though I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, it should be mandatory to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in co-education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and colleges. The subsequent paragraphs discuss this topic
further
.

Firstly
, one group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that teaching males and females
separately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to focus on their education. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
say
that it can bring core strength in physical and mental state, it will not distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
concentration and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra curriculum activity.
For example
, a lightweight boxing champion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
says
in his interview that studying in a single sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him to focus on his passion and that drives him to this top position in boxing.

On other side, numerous experts believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it compulsory to studying in mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and college. As they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
say
, it
individually
Did you mean "helps"?
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prospects, by understanding opposite gender nature and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to approaching any task,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
eventually
both males and females have
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
capability for conducting such tasks.
In addition
, as per research male and female hormones work in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
distinct manner, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to do activities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
For instance
, a successful businessman, Mr. Manoj
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
says
in his interview that in college time whenever he feels inferior, his girlfriend motivate him and gives courage to perform well, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
his wife.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he gave all the success credit to his wife.

To conclude
, studying in single sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it’s
Please check whether an article is missing: "a own".
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of merits. Although, I would suggest to approach co-education method, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to determine gender equality and culture.
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IELTS essay Some People Think That It Is Better To Educate Boys And Girls In Separate Schools | Band 8 IELTS Essay Sample

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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