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some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, however, believe taht boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.31

some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, however, believe taht boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 31
It is often argued that girls and boys should get more benefits in co-educational schools by studying together, while some people say that they should study separately. I believe that students of the opposite gender should study in the same schools because this will help them to learn socialization with each other while studying in separate could save them from futile infatuations. On the one hand, boys and girls could learn to interact with each other in joint schools. That is to say that from an early age they will develop respect for each other and understanding of opposing genders. This will help them to prepare for working together in the future. For instance, in a survey by The Guardian, 56% of men and women successfully work collaboratively at their jobs only because they had studied in coeducation school. However, I think that by studying jointly boys and girls develop romantic relationships and deviate their focus from studies. On the other hand, opposing gender students are prone to get attached to each other. This indulgence sometimes ends up in heartbreaks and sexual acts which is also a delicate and risky situation for their parents and teachers. Moreover, this kind of behaviour distracts them from their studies. For instance, in Pakistan, 10% of teenage pregnancies are detected in school which have mixed students. Thus, I am unconvinced by the idea of co-education as it distracts students from studying. In conclusion, I believe that although children can learn to socialize with different genders in joint schools, there are chances they could become sentimental and get distracted from studies.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that girls and boys should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more benefits in co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
by studying together, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
separately
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the opposite gender should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to learn socialization with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
while studying in separate could save them from futile infatuations.

On the one hand, boys and girls could learn to interact with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
That is
to say that from an early age they will develop respect for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and understanding of opposing genders. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to prepare for working together in the future.
For instance
, in a survey by The Guardian, 56% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
successfully
work
collaboratively
at their jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had studied in coeducation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by studying
jointly
boys and girls develop romantic relationships and deviate their focus from studies.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, opposing gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attached to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. This indulgence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
ends up in heartbreaks and sexual acts which is
also
a delicate and risky situation for their parents and teachers.
Moreover
, this kind of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
distracts them from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
For instance
, in Pakistan, 10% of teenage pregnancies
are detected
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which have mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Thus
, I
am unconvinced
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of co-education as it distracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from studying.

In conclusion
, I believe that although children can learn to socialize with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genders in joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, there are chances they could become sentimental and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, however, believe taht boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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