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Some people think that it is better for students to study together while others think on the contrary.

Some people think that it is better for students to study together while others think on the contrary. 73qJ2
People have different views about whether students can do well-organized work in an assemblage, whilst others say that it is superior for them to study by themselves. It is clear that students should focus on their work instead of working with each other; however, my view is that pupils can improve more skills through working in groups. Admittedly, studying alone plays an important role in improving the self-esteem of students. One of the most considerable benefits of studying autonomous learning is that students, who will be enforced in tackling an issue, will naturally improve their concentration on addressing a problem and the independence of solving tasks. Nowadays, when students are required to attend classes via the Internet because of the pandemic, they need to learn how to face a problem without any support from either their peers or their guardians. Conversely, students having opportunities to work with their partners can improve a wide variety of techniques through those activities. Currently, not only do companies require basic skills but they also look for workers with comprehensive skills such as working in a group, solving problems with other members of staff. To achieve these skills, opportunities to work with other friends should be given to pupils so they can enhance their confidence as well as teamwork skills, which also help them to overcome the difficulties of working. Noticing these necessitates, almost all schools in Vietnam encourage students to address problems with their friends as well as organize activities for their students to have chances to enhance teamwork skills. In conclusion, although there is no doubt that pupils need to face challenges by themselves, from my point of view, I firmly believe that it is better for students to learn and discuss in an assemblage.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can do well-organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in an assemblage, whilst others say that it is superior for them to study by themselves. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
;
however
, my view is that pupils can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in groups.

Admittedly
, studying alone plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in improving the self-esteem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. One of the most considerable benefits of studying autonomous learning is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who will
be enforced
in tackling an issue, will
naturally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their concentration on addressing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and the independence of solving tasks. Nowadays, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are required
to attend classes via the Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the pandemic, they need to learn how to face a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
without any support from either their peers or their guardians.

Conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
having opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with their partners can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a wide variety of techniques through those activities.
Currently
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
require basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
look for workers with comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a group, solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members of staff. To achieve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friends should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can enhance their confidence
as well
as teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to overcome the difficulties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. Noticing
The verb 'necessitates' is singular. Did you mean: "This necessitates" or "these necessitate"?
these necessitates
, almost all schools in Vietnam encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to address
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with their friends
as well
as organize activities for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have chances to enhance teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, although there is no doubt that pupils need to face challenges by themselves, from my point of view, I
firmly
believe that it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn and discuss in an assemblage.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is better for students to study together while others think on the contrary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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