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Some people think that increasing business and cultural contacts is a positive trend, others think that it leads to a loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that increasing business and cultural contacts is a positive trend, others think that it leads to a loss of national identities. kYjDR
There are conflicting views regarding whether economic and cultural communication between countries is beneficial. Both sides of the argument will be discussed in this essay, followed by my own perspective on this matter. Many people argue that interactions in fields of economy and culture should be encouraged because it will boost economic development in the nations involved. Generally, commercial and cultural communications would cause exchanges of various resources, such as raw industrial materials, investment funds as well as products in cultural sectors. Governments and companies could obtain particular sources that could not be supplied in their own countries by offering local assets through such kind of contacts. For instance, countries which lack capital could export goods for money, thus investing facilities constructions. Therefore, international communications in the economy and culture are of great benefit. Conversely, many others find that foreign exchange can be dangerous since it would lead to the loss of national identity. They believe that frequent interactions could have an impact on people's consumption habits because they can easily purchase commodities from other countries. Buying and using these foreign items could make people adapt to new lifestyles from their traditional ones, such as eating fast food, listening to pop music or watching Hollywood movies. While a larger proportion of the population following this trend, the original cultural habits of this nation will be faded and forgotten, which could negatively result in the disappearance of the previous national identity. In my opinion, communication between countries will bring multiple benefits especially boosting the economy of the joiners. Although there are cultural drawbacks, they could be well addressed by governments taking steps to enhance domestic cultural education in neighbourhoods and schools. In conclusion, international interaction is positive.
There are conflicting views regarding whether economic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is beneficial. Both sides of the argument will
be discussed
in this essay, followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective on this matter.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that interactions in fields of economy and culture should
be encouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will boost economic development in the nations involved.
Generally
, commercial and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
communications would cause exchanges of various resources, such as raw industrial materials, investment funds
as well
as products in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
sectors.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
could obtain particular sources that could not
be supplied
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by offering local assets through such kind of contacts.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which lack capital could export
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for money,
thus
investing facilities constructions.
Therefore
, international communications in the economy and culture are of great benefit.

Conversely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others find that foreign exchange can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
since it would lead to the loss of national identity. They believe that frequent interactions could have an impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's consumption habits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
commodities from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Buying and using these foreign items could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
adapt to new lifestyles from their traditional ones, such as eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food, listening to pop music or watching Hollywood movies. While a larger proportion of the population following this trend, the original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
habits of this nation will
be faded
and forgotten, which could
negatively
result in the disappearance of the previous national identity.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will bring multiple benefits
especially
boosting the economy of the joiners. Although there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
drawbacks, they could be well addressed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
taking steps to enhance domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
education in
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
and schools.
In conclusion
, international interaction is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that increasing business and cultural contacts is a positive trend, others think that it leads to a loss of national identities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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