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Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Jeye
Sports events are conducted in many different places and hosted by different people from different languages. Hosting an international sports event can be an advantage and disadvantage for the country. Every sports events are fun to watch and understood by everyone. In this essay, i will discuss about the perspective on hosting a international sports event. Firstly, country being known by everyone. International sports event are conducted in various places which help the people to develop knowledge on the country that the sports event is been hosted. For example, last year Asian Games was conducted in Indonesia and in some parts of the island. Many people from different countries attended the sports event and each one gained knowledge about Indonesia and the surrounding places. Secondly, development of the country. People who are organising the event will tend to share thoughts on the location and climatic condition of the specific country or place which promotes the organisers to invest on constructing a building in that location. Otherwise, conducting international sports events more than once, makes the country into a developing country. In contrast to the above paragraph, a country can experience financial crises. Conducting an international sports event include not only the loaction for games but also the accommodation for the players. For example, last international event was in Indonesia which is developing country has to construct hotels for player which tend to experience financial problems for the certain country. Overall, in this essay i discussed about my point of view on hosting an international event in a country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
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events
are conducted
in
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many
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different
places and hosted by
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different
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people
from
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different
languages. Hosting an
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international
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sports
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event
can be an advantage and disadvantage for the
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country
. Every
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sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are fun to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and understood by everyone. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
perspective on hosting
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

Firstly
,
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country
being known
by everyone.
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International
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sports
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event
are conducted
in various places which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
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people
to develop knowledge on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is been
hosted.
For example
, last year Asian Games
was conducted
in Indonesia and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the island.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
attended the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and each one gained knowledge about Indonesia and the surrounding places.

Secondly
, development of the
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country
.
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People
who are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
will tend to share thoughts on the location and climatic condition of the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or place which promotes the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisers' is British English.
organisers
to invest on constructing a building in that location.
Otherwise
, conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
more than once,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
.

In contrast
to the above paragraph, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can experience financial crises. Conducting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
include not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
loaction
for games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the accommodation for the players.
For example
, last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
was in Indonesia which is developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
construct hotels for player which tend to experience financial problems for the certain country.

Overall
, in this essay
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
Did you mean simply "discussed my"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about my
point of view on hosting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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