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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATES SHOULD TRAVEL OR WORK FOR A PERIOD OF TIME BEFORE GOING DIRECTLY TO STUDY AT UNIVERSITY

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATES SHOULD TRAVEL OR WORK FOR A PERIOD OF TIME BEFORE GOING DIRECTLY TO STUDY AT UNIVERSITY xDkw9
Now-a-days, it has become a popular notion that to make ones’ parents proud the student is required to have a successful career. Some people claim that in order to become successful, the student needs to work right after graduating high school; while, others argue that being a university graduate will guarantee an excellent career. In this essay I shall draw upon a number of examples that will bring out both the positive and negative impacts of a two-sided coin. To begin with, exposure to work at an early age will prove to be beneficial for the student in certain ways. Being novices, in the understanding of the world and the way the financial cycle works, these young students will learn about propriety at work and professionalism at a young age. In a sense, they will tend to become more matured and hence, prudent. For instance, a study by the New York Career Association substantiated that almost 70% of the students who worked after high school showed smartness at work than the ones who went right into college after graduating high school. On the other hand, it is often claimed that getting admitted to a good university will be more advantageous for a good future. It cannot be denied that top notch companies hire and provide good salaries only to university graduates and hence, this opportunity does not knock on the doors of only high school graduates. In addition, it has been proven by a group of career psychologists at Yale, that university graduates are more contended in their lives than high school graduates who seem to be struggling with their jobs. In conclusion, although both choices have their own implications, I believe that it is important for the student to outweigh the benefits and the drawbacks in order to have a successful career.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days, it has become a popular notion that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ones’ parents proud the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is required
to have a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that in order to become successful, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
right after
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
; while, others argue that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
will guarantee an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. In this essay I shall draw upon a number of examples that will bring out both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of a two-sided coin.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at an early age will prove to be beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in certain ways. Being novices, in the understanding of the world and the way the financial cycle works, these young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will learn about propriety at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and professionalism at a young age. In a sense, they will tend to become more matured and
hence
, prudent.
For instance
, a study by the New York
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Career
Association substantiated that almost 70% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who worked after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
smartness at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than the ones who went right into college after
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that getting admitted to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will be more advantageous for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
future. It cannot
be denied
that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top notch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
hire and provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salaries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and
hence
, this opportunity does not knock on the doors of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
.
In addition
, it has
been proven
by a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
psychologists at Yale, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are more contended in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
who seem to be struggling with their jobs.

In conclusion
, although both choices have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
implications, I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to outweigh the benefits and the drawbacks in order to have a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATES SHOULD TRAVEL OR WORK FOR A PERIOD OF TIME BEFORE GOING DIRECTLY TO STUDY AT UNIVERSITY

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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