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Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? r2np
A group of people believe that everyone having fixed retirement age regardless of their field or profession is not good. They argue that some professionals should have rights to give up their profession and start getting pension before a set retirement age. I totally agree with this statement because nature of work is very different and people should decide their retirement. A person who in working on construction site or working in coal mines with high temperature will have totally different work environment from a clerk who is working in A/C room. That’s why I believe that people who are working on sites and their job require more physical power than mental should retire early. Because at certain age their body will give up and it can lead to serious health issue. Due to fixed retirement age many old labors get injured on site because their bodies get weak but the job requirement is still same as before. I think these type of people should get option of early retirement. Although their income will change but it will not risk their lives. Moreover, if something happens with them on site their family will suffer a lot. Like one of our neighbor was working on site as a site supervisor. He was working on construction site for more than 20 years. In last summer he was one of his site which just newly started and due to that there was no proper room to relax he had to sit under the sun and one day he fainted on site and people took him to hospital but in the ambulance he died. If he got chance for early retirement with some pension this incident would never happened. To conclude, I believe that people from different sectors should have different retirement age because type of job effect people health and body separately. People who are working with more physical strength should have rights to retire early.
A group of
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people
believe that everyone having
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fixed
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retirement
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age
regardless of their field or profession is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. They argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professionals should have rights to give up their profession and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
getting pension
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a set
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retirement
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age
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nature of work is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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different
and
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people
should decide their retirement.

A person
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who
in
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working
on construction
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site
or
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working
in coal mines with high temperature will have
totally
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different
work environment from a clerk
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who
is
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working
in A/C room. That’s why I believe that
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and their job require more physical power than mental should retire
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early
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
at certain
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age
their body will give up and it can lead to serious health issue. Due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
labors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injured on
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site
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their bodies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
weak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the job requirement is
still
same as
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before
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these type of
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people
should
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get
option of
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early
retirement.

Although their income will
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change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, if something happens
The verb 'happen' usually requires the preposition "to".
with
them on
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site
their family will suffer a lot. Like one of our neighbor was
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working
on
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site
as a
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site
supervisor. He was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
for more than 20 years. In last summer he was one of his
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site
which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
newly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
and due to that there was no proper room to relax he had to sit under the sun and one day he fainted on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
and
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people
took him to hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the ambulance he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
. If he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pension this incident would never happened.

To conclude
, I believe that
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people
from
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different
sectors should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
type of job effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health and body
separately
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with more physical strength should have rights to retire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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