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Dieting can change a person's life for better or ruins one's health completely. what is your opinion?

Dieting can change a person's life for better or ruins one's health completely. what is your opinion? eDLJ
Going on diet could change someone's health toward goodness. Although going on diet is good for our overall health, sometimes it could ruins our health. this essay will discuss that how dieting could change our life for better. going on diet can make us more healthy than ever before. our health had been struggling for more than thousands of year before doing research on improving our overall health in 19th century. so, scientists reached to a result that fasting (a type of keep diet up until a day) could control our health problems. one example would be my own experience from keep up my first diet, when I was overweight after second month a noticed some changes in my weight. believe me, I was 78 kilograms before selecting my diet schedule. God this reason we claimed that it would be good for our health. launching diet unnecessarily could have bad effect on your health and can make your health terrible. sometimes we notice negative changes in our body due to our negative thoughts or may be unnecessarily starting diet. for instance, one of my friends, whom was concerned about his fitness, but it was good at all. so, he started dieting without consulting with any specialist after 90 days he died. then we asked from a specialist about the problem. he investigated about and he replied after 65 days that be is died of bad or terrible nutrition. because of that issue we could claim that it is bad for us to start dieting unnecessarily. untimely, It is highly recommended by professional doctors that we should whatever our our doctor recommends us.
Going on diet could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
someone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
toward goodness. Although going on diet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "ruin"
ruins
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will discuss that how dieting could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
our life for better.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
going
on diet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us more healthy than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
had been struggling for more than thousands of year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing research on improving our
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in 19th century.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, scientists reached to a result that fasting (a type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
diet up until a day) could control our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
example would be my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up my
first
diet, when I was overweight after second month a noticed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in my weight.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
believe
me, I was 78 kilograms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
selecting my diet schedule. God this reason we claimed that it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our health.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
launching
diet
unnecessarily
could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
terrible.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sometimes
we notice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in our body due to our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts or may be
unnecessarily
starting diet.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, one of my friends, whom
was concerned
about his fitness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at all.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
dieting without consulting with any specialist after 90 days he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
we asked from a specialist about the problem.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
investigated
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
about and
he replied after 65 days that be is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or terrible nutrition.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
of that issue we could claim that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
dieting
unnecessarily
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
untimely
, It is
highly
recommended by professional doctors that we should whatever
Possible typo: you repeated a word
our our
doctor recommends us.
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IELTS essay Dieting can change a person's life for better or ruins one's health completely. what is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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