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Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion."

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion. " yNb8V
To succeed in life the need for hard work and determination is undeniable. Of course the definition of success there is substantial improvement of one’s professional, financial, intellectual, or spiritual status. Often it appears that there had been other catalysts for success, like opportunity and guidance. But my belief is that, with enough perseverance and diligence all variables in the way of becoming successful may be neutralized. A person, in education, career or soul searching, faces many hurdles, some barely discomforting and others disarming. That is surely beyond argument. Hence there should not be disagreements in saying, hurdles are called such because they require us to put in more effort than usual. The greater the hurdle is, the more effort we must put in. Drawing from this, success and the hard work – determination factor are positively related to each other. It is as irrefutable as mathematics. A contradictory point of view may project that the formulaic relationship between hard work – determination and achievement may be engineered by the opportunity and/or guidance one might get. That is reasonably agreeable. But such secondary factors can never become the primary. For example, it is commonly said that George W. Bush, the Senior, has been far more prolific, than his son is, in his military, bureaucratic, and political career, while it is evident that he had to diligently work his way up the ladder, from being a soldier to the fabled US White House. Mr. Bush Junior, on the other hand, had most of his way to the oval office already paved by the grace of his patron. Then it may be said that Bush Sr. worked harder than Bush Jr. did, and we all are spectators of their discriminated rapport, as humans and as leaders. Therefore, I conclude here that, though some secondary factors sometimes may influence the dynamics of success, achievement of it solely depends on hard work and determination.
To succeed in life the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
is undeniable.
Of course
the definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
there is substantial improvement of one’s professional, financial, intellectual, or spiritual status.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
it appears that there had been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
catalysts for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, like opportunity and guidance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
my belief is that, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
perseverance and diligence all variables in the way of becoming successful may
be neutralized
. A person, in education, career or
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
soul searching
, faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hurdles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
barely
discomforting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
disarming.
That is
surely
beyond argument.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
there should not be disagreements in saying, hurdles
are called
such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they require us to put in more effort than usual. The greater the hurdle is, the more effort we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
put in. Drawing from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
factor are
positively
related to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. It is as irrefutable as mathematics. A contradictory point of view may project that the formulaic relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
and achievement may
be engineered
by the opportunity and/or guidance one might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
That is
reasonably
agreeable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
such secondary factors can never become the primary.
For example
, it is
commonly
said that George W. Bush, the Senior, has been far more prolific, than his son is, in his military, bureaucratic, and political career, while it is evident that he had to
diligently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
his way up the ladder, from being a soldier to the fabled US White
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
House
. Mr. Bush Junior, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, had most of his way to the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
oval office
already paved by the grace of his patron. Then it may
be said
that Bush Sr. worked harder than Bush Jr. did, and we all are spectators of their discriminated rapport, as humans and as leaders.
Therefore
, I conclude here that, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
secondary factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may influence the dynamics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, achievement of it
solely
depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion. "

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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