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Some people think that happiness is about having money, material things like a large house and luxury cars, to be able to travel to different places, being famous and be able to post them in social media. There are those, however, who believe that happiness is about having healthy relationships with friends, relatives, work mates, neighbours and even strangers and the environment.

Some people think that happiness is about having money, material things like a large house and luxury cars, to be able to travel to different places, being famous and be able to post them in social media. There are those, however, who believe that happiness is about having healthy relationships with friends, relatives, work mates, neighbours and even strangers and the environment. lWqpQ
Some people think that happiness is having material money such as a large house, a luxury car, traveling to many famous places, and posting on social networks. However, others believe that happiness is having healthy relationships with friends, relatives, colleagues, neighbors, even strangers, and the environment. I find both of the above ideas to be correct because for each person there will be a different standard of happiness. On the one hand, economic freedom - the ability to meet the needs in life, is one of the important factors for happiness. People with money and material things will feel happy when they don't have to. worry about making a living. There is a close relationship between money and happiness. Money has a big influence on us. It is a necessary condition for many activities of life such as studying, eating, wearing, staying, traveling…. Everything we do requires a lot of money. On the other hand, people who have material possessions can travel are not necessarily happy people. For example, a rich family but their children lack the attention and care of their parents, that is not really happiness. The greatest happiness in life is often found in experiences shared with family and friends, and it is rare to find a person satisfied with a life of complete isolation. Happiness is when you have difficulties, people will always be there to share and help you. In conclusion, although there are different views on happiness, common attributes such as caring for family, freedom, and personal satisfaction are considered as key factors for happiness in life.
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Some
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people
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think
that
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happiness
is having material
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money
such as a large
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house
, a luxury car, traveling to
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many
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famous
places, and posting on social networks.
However
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is having healthy relationships with friends, relatives, colleagues, neighbors, even strangers, and the environment. I find both of the above
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ideas
to be correct
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because
for each person there will be a
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different
standard of happiness.

On the one hand, economic freedom
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs in
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life
, is one of the
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important
factors for
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happiness
.
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People
with
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money
and material things will feel happy when they don't
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have to
. worry about making a living. There is a close relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
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happiness
.
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Money
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
influence on us. It is a necessary condition for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as studying, eating, wearing, staying, traveling…. Everything we do requires
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a lot of
money.

On the other hand
,
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people
who have material possessions can travel are not
necessarily
happy
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people
.
For example
, a rich family
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but
their children lack the attention and care of their parents,
that is
not
really
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happiness
. The greatest
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happiness
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
found in experiences shared with family and friends, and it is rare to find a person satisfied with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of complete isolation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
is when you have difficulties,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will always be there to share and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, common attributes such as caring for family, freedom, and personal satisfaction
are considered
as key factors for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.

IELTS essay Some people think that happiness is about having money, material things like a large house and luxury cars, to be able to travel to different places, being famous and be able to post them in social media. There are those, however, who believe that happiness is about having healthy relationships with friends, relatives, work mates, neighbours and even strangers and the environment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that happiness is about having money, material things like a large house and luxury cars, to be able to travel to different places, being famous and be able to post them in social media. There are those, however, who believe that happiness is about having healthy relationships with friends, relatives, work mates, neighbours and even strangers and the environment.