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Oil and natural gas reserves are decreasing nowadays. Countries are looking at areas which are not explored till now. Do you think this is a positive development?

Oil and natural gas reserves are decreasing nowadays. Countries are looking at areas which are not explored till now. Do you think this is a positive development? BML0w
In these days, there is no doubt that demands for energy resources have significant increased and individuals have been encouraging to explore new reserves of oil and natural gas in isolated and remote regions. However, I think this development leads several drawbacks than benefits. On the one hand, despite the negative aspects, finding new energy resources creates some advantages for human being. To elaborate; Nowadays, due to growing demand the prices of oil and natural gas are at the peak level in the contrary if nations find out new reserves in faraway places than costs of them would be reduced. Therefore, this is beneficial for the smooth running of individual's life. Moreover, by setting up power stations in distant and untouched regions create a large number of job opportunities for workers where they have to operate machines and discover energy resources. Consequently, people have not face any issues to earn their bread and butter. For example, in last few years rates of unemployment have been dropped down because of new factories. On the other hand, there are plethora of disadvantages of discovering newoil and natural gas reserves. Firstly, exploration of energy resources in such sites put hazardous impact on biodiversity and natural habitat in light of fact that frequently disposed of damaging waste into ocean and their transportation activities have a huge risk oil leakage and oil spills, which not only kill the marine life but also damage the several food species and make them poisonous. As a result, it is totally futile. Secondly, government of particular nation spend large amount of nation's budget on such type of discoveries, which is too limited and should be spent on citizens for providing better facilities and even, for making renewable energy resources to decreasing the desires of oil and natural gas reserves. In conclusion, although this phenomenon has own positive aspects in the contrary their drawbacks overshadowed the benefits.
In these days, there is no doubt that demands for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources have significant increased and individuals have been encouraging to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
reserves of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
in isolated and remote regions.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this development leads several drawbacks than benefits.

On the one hand, despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects, finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for human being. To elaborate; Nowadays, due to growing demand the prices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
are at the peak level in the contrary if nations find out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
reserves in faraway places than costs of them would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Therefore
, this is beneficial for the smooth running of individual's life.
Moreover
, by setting up power stations in distant and untouched regions create
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
job opportunities for workers where they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
operate machines and discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "faced".
face
any issues to earn their bread and butter.
For example
, in last few years rates of unemployment have been
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
factories.

On the other hand
, there are plethora of disadvantages of discovering
Possible spelling mistake found.
newoil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
reserves.
Firstly
, exploration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources in such sites put hazardous impact on biodiversity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat in light of fact that
frequently
disposed of damaging waste into ocean and their transportation activities have a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
leakage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
spills, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
kill the marine life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
damage the several food species and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them poisonous.
As a result
, it is
totally
futile.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of particular nation spend large amount of nation's budget on such type of discoveries, which is too limited and should
be spent
on citizens for providing better facilities and even, for making renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources to decreasing the desires of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
reserves.

In conclusion
, although this phenomenon has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects in the contrary their drawbacks overshadowed the benefits.

IELTS essay Oil and natural gas reserves are decreasing nowadays. Countries are looking at areas which are not explored till now. Do you think this is a positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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